<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>fool for you || l.s by orphan_account</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27511069">fool for you || l.s</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boyfriends, F/M, Fanfiction, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Harry Styles Loves Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson Being Idiots, Hate to Love, Jealous Harry, Love/Hate, M/M, Minor Kendall Jenner/Harry Styles, Multi, Post-Zayn One Direction, but they become friends, first fic yay, harry tomlinson, i dont know what im doing, louis and omc but its like, maybe i'll write smut idk, yeah - Freeform, zayn and louis arent friends</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 04:02:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>23,348</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27511069</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>a reunion fic </p><p>(I'm not fantastic with descriptions but.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson/Original Male Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first time writing fanfic so I'm really glad you decided to give this book a chance. I hope you enjoy it, and kudos' and comments are both welcome and appreciated.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>e p i g r a p h</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>@/Louis_Tomlinson</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Always in my heart @/Harry_Styles. Yours sincerely, Louis</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>2:04 AM . Oct 3, 2011</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Twitter for Blackberry</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. here's what you're getting into</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>SKIP TO THE NEXT CHAPTER TO GET STARTED WITH THE STORY</b>
</p><p>So here's the thing. I'm writing this story <em>just for fun</em>. I do hope if someone reads it, they enjoy it but again, this whole book? It's a me thing. I've tried to write this story five times. <em>Five fucking times. </em>I keep unpublishing it and republishing it and it's a vicious cycle of <em>'no one is reading this why is no one reading this what'</em> and I'm increasingly tired of it. This story, fanfic, book borders on mediocre / not that good (which are the same thing I suppose) but I'm gonna try with it; though you also need to know that it won't be mind blowing or anything so like, consider yourself appropriately warned.</p><p>
  <b><em>I'm going to get this done, if it's the last thing I do, and I'm gonna fucking enjoy it. Now if you, by some miracle happen to stumble across this, great! I hope you try it out and like it, and if you don't... well I won't hold it against you.</em> </b>
</p><p>This is fanfiction, and it is Larry fanfiction and I'm writing it because I love Louis, and Harry and the idea of <em>LouisandHarry</em> and <em>HarryandLouis</em>. Will there be smut? possibly - depends on whether I gather up the courage to write it. Will there be soft fluffy moments? yes. Is it a hate to love fic because I'm an absolute sucker for that specific trope? definitely.<b><em> It's gonna be a reunion fanfic (as you may have gathered from the vague blurb) and the only reason I haven't provided further detail, is because we're both in the same boat. You and I? we're very alike. We have no idea what's going to happen or if it's going to be good, but we'll stick with anyway. </em></b></p><p>Ok so the details (both important and unimportant ones; I'll add onto this as I go along)</p><p>- Harry and Louis were going to be their actual ages, except I'm like, a teenager and cannot visualize the thought processes of men that are practically thirty, so they're going to be 21 and 23 (respectively) and it doesn't completely make sense, but whatever, <em>sue me</em></p><p>- the house is modeled off of Kendall Jenner's villa in her AD segment. I love that house (it's so pretty <em>*gushes*</em>) but the primary basis for the boys' retreat/getaway villa is modeled off of her house; except it has a lot more rooms and a music room (cause they're musicians, <em>duh</em>)</p><p>- Harry looks like DWD Harry (not dunkirk) and Louis looks like Louis because I swear that man hasn't aged for the past five years; it's ridiculous.</p><p>- If any major fight scenes occur, just know that I'm listening to 'The Last Time' whilst writing it; because I'm (currently) obsessed with the lyrics even if the melody sounds like an upgraded version of whatever the fuck Dove Cameron and her boyfriend were trying to do as a duo.</p><p><em>(</em><em>update; I am no longer obsessively listening to this but it's a nice song, and still fits)</em> </p><p>- I know I said that they're at the Maldives, but I've never been there, nor have I put any research into it, which means the structure of the island and villa retrospectively changes as I need it to, so if you end up squinting at details that don't exactly make sense, keep squinting and read on <em>(I didn't plan this well, it's not my fault, the island does what it likes, take it up with them)</em></p><p>So far, this is what I have. If you've read this whole thing, I commend you. Anyways, happy reading and if you hate what you read; leave a kudos I dare you.</p><p>(it's a dare you, can't back out, better go kudos? i'm not sure if kudos is a verb or like a noun? but you know what I mean)</p><p>(oh also, the layout is a little pretentious I'm very sorry about it but I'm a snob like that)</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>'so can we start it all over again?'</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p><p>Louis fiddled with his pen, switching between taking small sips of the mocha he'd ordered and looking around the empty café surreptitiously, almost as if he expected someone to jump out at him. The noisy air con was the only thing that could be heard, the whizzing sound providing good background for Louis' thoughts that were orchestrating an opera in his head, his various fears and unpleasant feelings turned into a lively piece that showed no signs of ending any time soon.</p><p>The thick file was the only thing on the table, the plain black contrasting sharply against the brightly patterned tablecloth, looking far too unassuming for something so important, Louis thought amusedly. He didn't find the situation funny- in fact, the entire ordeal was incredibly droll; reminding him off a terrible joke with an even worse punchline; something so pathetic that it almost became humorous.</p><p>The mailman had shown up less than two days ago at Louis' front door, cheerfully declaring that he had a package for a 'Mr. Tomlinson' who lived here. That should've been the first red flag, since Louis didn't actually receive mail; unless it was his sisters, but they weren't anywhere near New York which was where the package had come from. Opening that folder had been his first mistake.</p><p>His next mistake: picking up his phone without looking at the caller id. Not that he was the kind of person that spent time looking at whoever was calling him, but it would've been nice if he was, because at least then he would've had little warning of what was about to happen. Now it wasn't that Louis hadn't been expecting the call, part of him knew that it would come soon, it had been a long time since One Direction had announced their hiatus, leaving the promise of <em>'eighteen months' </em>and <em>'we'll be back soon' </em>hanging in the air, before disappearing for five years. Needless to say the fans weren't very happy, and neither was Simon; who had been trying to convince the boys of One Direction's return every six months, an offer which all of them had graciously declined, time and time again.</p><p>Their phone call had been brief, Simon smugly pointing out that once a five year period had been passed, a reunion - arranged on behalf of their label was in tow, and no amount of pleading could convince him otherwise, much to Louis' displeasure.</p><p>This brings us back to present day, where he had been sitting in the small booth for four hours now, the plasticky chair sticking to his thighs that were drenched in sweat. He'd have found it disgusting if he hadn't been so preoccupied with his thoughts. So far, he knew that both Niall and Liam had signed the contract, and Zayn had not (despite Simon's pathetic grovelling) and he had a sneaking suspicion that perhaps Harry had too. He wasn't completely sure, adamant on not asking either of the other boys, he didn't want to seem like he actually cared if Harry would be there. Which he didn't. He didn't give a <em>flying fuck</em> about whether the curly haired man would be there or not, firmly reminding himself that Harry was far out of his life, and would stay out of it for as long as Louis could manage. Which wouldn't be much longer if things went the way Louis was expecting them to.</p><p>He glared at the document, hoping that it would magically disappear, or self-combust, if it meant he didn't have to sign the contract in front of him. It was getting tiring now, his head was spinning due to the weight of the decision he was about to make. He loved the boys and the music; it had given him everything he had, but wasn't looking forward to the One Direction aspect of it, not wanting to re-associate with the barely disguised mistreatment and homophobia and misogyny and everything else that came with.</p><p>He took a deep breath, bringing his pen toward the dotted line before slumping back in his seat, repeating this action multiple times. After about five minutes of back and forth, Louis finally gathered the courage to sign; messily scrawling his name on the paper, the words barely brushing the top of the line. Exhaustion overcame him almost instantly - as if the act had completely drained him. He shook his head slightly, feeling a little- no, extremely overwhelmed by what he had done. Not only did this mean completely giving up any semblance of freedom he had, it also meant coming face to face with the man who had absolutely shattered his heart, and then stomped on the pieces, for the first time in years. He blinked, mentally chastising himself, mumbling an angry <em>'fucking hell Lou, get over yourself' </em>under his breath.</p><p>Louis silently made his way out of the café, hood pulled over his face in a poor attempt to disguise himself. He didn't actually think he would be spotted, but enjoyed the feeling of being hidden, pulling the too long sleeves over his small hands.</p><p>Pete was patiently waiting for him outside, politely greeting Louis as he entered the car, sighing when the cool air hit him, feeling nice on his skin that was still sticky with sweat. "Back home?" Pete questioned, looking into the rearview mirror at Louis, who simply nodded. They reached in record time - only seven and a half minutes, which Louis congratulated Pete for, giving him a high-five. It really was an achievement, since Louis lived about a half-hour away from the dingy cafe. He handed the files he was carrying over to Pete, instructing him to drop them off at the post office, offering him a small smile so he didn't sound so horribly demanding. He wanted the files gone as quickly as possible, shuddering at the thought of an angry Simon calling him to complain how Louis had, yet again, let him down by taking forever to mail the files and how <em>'the rest of the boys sent it back on time, why couldn't he?'</em></p><p>He hurriedly made his way inside his house, shutting the mahogany door behind him, trying to ignore the growing feeling of dread settling in his stomach. It was nothing, <em>right? </em>He'd done it once, and he could do it again. Only three more years, and then he would finally be able to rid himself of the shackles Simon had snapped onto him when he was eighteen. He smiled at the thought.</p><p>
  <strong>[ s c e n e   b r e a k ]</strong>
</p><p>Harry rested his head against his hands, listening to the city sounds as they passed by. He'd just finished up, the meeting with Simon had dragged on for far longer than he'd expected, but that was one of the perks of being in the same city as the vile man; he got to meet him face-to-face. He'd decided to make a slight detour for some coffee, not sure he could get through the rest of the day without chugging down at least five cups of the beverage- the two hour interaction with his old label felt like it had taken all the energy out of him.</p><p>Harry sighed, the warm liquid sliding down his throat and leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He would be lying if he said he was excited, not really looking forward to the return of his former band in any way. He hadn't spoken to Niall and Liam in months, and Louis had practically disappeared from his life the second the band officially split up. He wasn't prepared.</p><p>"Harry! H!" came a heavily accented voice, causing Harry to tilt his head in confusion at the source of the noise. His face fell slightly, not enough for the person waving at him to notice, the once blond Niall was running up to him; hugging him enthusiastically.</p><p>"Niall!" he returned, trying to pump as much eagerness into the greeting as he could, forcing a smile on his face. Being part of multiple oscar winning movies must've helped, since Niall bought the smile, plopping down into the empty chair across Harry.</p><p>"Long time, no see, huh? You've avoided all my calls!" Niall pointed out, his voice accusing despite the cheery smile on his face, and Harry could detect the smallest twinge of hurt in the baby blues. He felt the slightest bit of remorse, feeling a little bad for not being able to reflect the genuinity on Niall's face; showing he'd actually missed him and wasn't faking it to be polite.</p><p>"Just been busy, Ni, you know how it is." Harry mumbled, a little defensively, eyes looking everywhere except Niall, as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.</p><p>"I was only joking, H, don't fret." Niall gave him another smile, the simple action lighting up his features, causing a similar expression to blossom on Harry's face - Niall's happiness had always been far too contagious for anyone's good - dimples and everything showing, as he smiled back at him. They made small talk for a while, slowly becoming more comfortable with the other the longer they conversed.</p><p>"So, we're really doing this huh?" Niall asked finally, looking at Harry oddly, motioning to the files perched atop the wooden surface. "Like, we're actually doing this." he continued, not actually stopping to think about what he was saying. "I can't believe you agreed, thinking back to how things ended I didn't think you'd ever step foot back into this band. Was kinda expecting you to pull a Zayn on us." He said truthfully, not having much of a filter. He noticed Harry's discomfort at his words and quickly backtracked, stumbling over the apologies streaming out of his mouth. "I didn't mean it like that- like I thought maybe you would, uh-</p><p>"It's alright Ni," Harry chuckled, though there was no amusement on his face. "I didn't think I was gonna do it either, so don't be too harsh on yourself." he shrugged, quickly taking a sip of his now cold coffee.</p><p>"What changed then? Why're you doing this?" Niall questioned, a quizzical look on his face. Niall had a faint idea of why Harry had signed the contract; it wasn't like he didn't have enough money to call quits, and he wasn't particularly attached to anything within the band, not really anyways. He suspected the reasoning behind Harry's decision started with an <em>'L' </em>and ended with an<em> 'ouis Tomlinson'</em>; he wasn't an idiot, and Harry's songs were so obviously about his old bandmate, that he might as well have titled them with Louis' namesake and announced it through a megaphone. So he asked Harry, hoping for an honest answer.</p><p>"Is it- you know, is it Louis?" Niall prompted. Harry sucked in a breath, not having expected Niall to be quite so forward. Part of him knew that the only reason he was doing this was because of Louis, because he missed him and selfishly wanted to see him again, and Harry knew that he could either tell Niall the truth, or he could continue denying what he knew to be true, and he chose to do the latter, making such a valiant attempt at it that Niall didn't have the heart to point out that he could see right through Harry.</p><p>Niall changed the topic after that, much to Harry's relief, the two men chattering aimlessly, talking about everything and nothing until it was far past noon and the sun was starting to sink. He surprisingly found himself a little disappointed once Niall had to leave; looking at Niall funnily when he held out his pinky and made Harry promise to text, threatening him with a broken finger if he didn't, hurrying away.</p><p>Harry left a few minutes after Niall did, his heart a little lighter than it had been before, a the slight flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, this wouldn't be quite so bad as he'd been imagining.</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Oh, how often you'll remember<br/>The sudden pain of unnamed longing"</p><p>- Anna Akhmatova, from "I'll erase this day from your memory"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>'oh how shit changes, we were in love now we're strangers'</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p><p>Louis stood outside Jean-Georges, the restaurant exuding elegance and sophistication which succeeded in making him feel more out of place than he ever had before. Simon had called earlier that day, quickly giving Louis the details for their meeting and hanging up before Louis could come up with any excuses to weasel his way out of it. </p><p>He was late; in his reluctance to attend the impromptu get-together he'd procrastinated for far too long, and thus stood outside the restaurant thirty minutes after he was supposed to be there. Pete had given him a thumbs up and hurried away before Louis could attempt to convince Pete to give him a ride back home, watching miserably as the car drove off. He wasn't scared per se, (the sweat collecting on his palms would beg to differ) just a teensy bit nervous.</p><p>It wasn't the people- well, not all of them- that was putting him off; the idea of seeing Niall and Liam normally had him jumping like a kid in a candy store, except this couldn't be considered a normal situation (how many people do you know that were blackmailed back into their old career? right that's what Louis thought) which might've explained why he was so fidgety, though some might think he was in dire need of a piss- shifting from one foot to the other every two seconds generally gave off those vibes. The strangers watching wouldn't have been so quick to judge if they had known what the context was, and it wasn't quite as dramatic as Louis made it out to be, but he'd spent around five hours obsessing over everything that could possibly go wrong, which he quickly realized wasn't an enjoyable pastime at all; but he was too far in to stop.  </p><p>And the context was: this would be the first time Louis would be seeing Harry after almost five years, which kind of made him want to throw up, and then jump of a roof, preferably one after the other. Or he could throw up whilst jumping off a roof, but it might get kind of gross, and Louis <em>did not</em> want to die covered in his own vomit, which was the only reason he hadn't done it. Maybe he could strap a vomit bag on his face? He dismissed that idea after pondering it for a few minutes, deciding that when he came to the conclusion that he did not want to have stinky breath, conjuring up ideas of what the headlines for his untimely death could be if he did. 'Louis bad-breath Tomlinson' had kind of an exciting ring to it. </p><p>He could always puke on Harry though, and then maybe Harry would get angry enough and quit the band and he could go on tour with Liam and Niall, and possibly James Corden. He seriously doubted James would object though; he'd been trying to join the band since like 2012. They could do a rendition of You and I; something along the lines of <em>'James and I, we don't wanna be like them?'</em>- Louis could definitely see that working. </p><p>He pretended not to notice the rude stares of the service crew, who'd been fascinatedly watching him as if he was a dinosaur fossil or something (he'd been standing still and looking extremely ashen-faced as he did) so the comparison was horribly accurate, funnily enough. </p><p>He suddenly strode forward, causing everyone within a two meter radius of him to jump, more than just the staff had been staring, (but Louis was a little too oblivious to notice) and since the feather haired man had shown no signs of being alive for the past ten minutes, they must've believed he was in some kind of trance, or perhaps an strange a statue of some sort, casually blocking everyone's way in and out of the restaurant, as statues tended to do. </p><p>He could hear a faint chorus of voices calling out his name, whom he quickly recognized as Liam and Niall, a big smile overtaking his features. He couldn't help it, he loved Liam and Niall, and hadn't seen them in long enough that they were both sporting full fledged beards now, and wore pants instead of skinny jeans. Niall quickly rose from his seat, pulling the shorter man into a bone crushing hug; Louis quite literally felt like his bones were being crushed with the strength of Niall's grip, and it took a lot of wriggling on his part and Liam prying Niall's arms open for him to escape the Irish man's clutches. Louis wheezed, trying to regain his breath, and Liam, taking pity on him settled for a friendly pat on the back rather than embracing Louis as he'd planned on doing.  </p><p>"Nice to meet you too, Niall. And Liam" he managed to get out a few seconds later, giving his friends a teasing smile at their eagerness, before settling into the only seat available, which, due to his luck (and possibly his tardiness) happened to be right in between where Harry and Simon were. Fan-<em>fucking</em>-tastic.</p><p>He turned his head, nodding at Simon and his assistant: Lizzie, out of courtesy, completely ignoring Harry, who was staring at him in hopes of receiving some acknowledgement from the blue eyed boy. However, Louis was as stubborn as they came, and refused to look at Harry, despite how much he wanted to, intently focusing on the serviette in front of him that had been folded to resemble a swan. It was a pretty wonky swan, in Louis' opinion; the wings seemed a little uneven perhaps he could like, push them a little-</p><p>"I'm glad to see you here Louis. On time, like I <em>specifically</em> asked you to be." Simon muttered pointedly, interrupting his thoughts and sending a harsh glare Louis' way. If Louis had been younger, and as scared of Simon as he used to be, he might have shut up immediately, but alas, he wasn't, and still lacked the common sense most people did when it came to biting their tongues.</p><p>"I'm not even that late, Simon Cowbell." He grinned, taking in Simon's furious expression. He scrunched up his nose, trying to come up with a plausible excuse that would explain his inability to be punctual, finally settling on: "Pete was late"; which roughly translated to <em>I begged him to not take me and then threw a tantrum which was what made us late- </em>"and we got a stuck in traffic"; <em>I was contemplating running through it so I would get hit by a car-</em> "you know how the roads are"; <em>ridiculously </em><em>empty during noon.</em> </p><p>"You will address me with respect." Simon spat, looking a little constipated. Maybe he was mad. Louis could definitely make him madder, so, he did.</p><p>"Will do, Semen Cattlewell." Louis replied cheekily, spotting Niall covering his face with his hands in attempt to muffle the choking noises he was making. He winked at Simon, picking up a menu on the table and flicking through it like it was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen, paying no mind to Simon's reddening face. He heard a small snort come from beside him, and he turned reflexively, pausing when his eyes met Harry's. He hadn't meant to, but once he did, he couldn't really stop himself.</p><p>He was tempted to say something, make fun of Harry's ugly laugh possibly, but the words died on his lips as he looked; actually looked at the man he hadn't seen in years. It wasn't Harry - well not completely - that made him gape like a fish, rather how different he looked or the fact that Louis couldn't seem to tear his eyes away. </p><p>It wasn't an angry gaze like Harry had expected, but one full of curiosity and other emotions that came and disappeared too quickly for him to place. Louis' eyes roamed over his seated figure, mouth slightly open; almost like he didn't recognize who was sat next to him.</p><p>For Louis, it wasn't Harry's physical appearance that had thrown him off, he hadn't changed so much apart from the printed suits and painted nails, but it was the way he carried himself, the maturity in his features, the fear in his eyes as he stared right back. Harry's once boyish features had been sculpted into something more severe, his face seemed cruel; all angles and sharp edges; the previous softness giving way to time.</p><p>The only thing, that looked the same to him were the pretty green eyes, shyly peeking out at him from underneath long lashes. The sudden longing that flooded Louis' heart as he looked at them wasn't something he'd expected; the familiarity of them was something he'd stupidly mistaken for home once before - darker viridian hues fading into a moss green, flecks of hazel dusted around the center, where his pupils were, and they seemed to have dilated looking back at him. They were striking against his pale skin, intense in their gaze, like they were trying to say something; convey a message that was only meant for the man sitting next to him.</p><p>Except Louis couldn't decipher the words, couldn't recognize the unfaltering adoration, he didn't remember how to interpret the three syllable phrase that was printed clearly in the honest stare that Harry might as well have written it on a board and hung it around his neck. Louis felt sick to his stomach, the bile rising up his throat, and he really wanted to cry - but why he did, Louis didn't know. He didn't care about Harry, he didn't care, <em>he didn't care, HE DIDN'T CARE.</em> The words bounced back and forth in his head, mixing in with the voice at the back of his mind screaming <em>'no you don't, no you don't hate him, no you don't, you never did, you fucking liar'</em>. Louis turned away from Harry, inundated by the sudden influx of emotions, cursing himself for being so weak.</p><p>He cleared his throat softly, barely loud enough for anyone to hear. "I need the bathroom, I'll be back." Louis mumbled, shooting out of his chair and running to the bathroom, taking deep breaths to compose himself. It took less than three seconds for Harry to follow, who almost pushed his chair over in his haste to follow, not noticing the agitation on both Liam and Niall's faces as he went after Louis. </p><p>He rushed to the bathroom, stopping in his tracks when he spotted Louis, who was hunched over in front of the mirror, hands resting on either side of him on the marble sink. He seemed smaller, was the first thought that came to Harry's head as he watched Louis, and the second one was that he'd looked sadder. Even before Louis had run away to the bathroom he'd looked sad; his eyes seemed hollow, like the twinkle in them had died and returned to the stars. Harry observed the way his smiles weren't reaching his eyes, the crinkles around them practically non-existent; it made his heart feel heavy, and for a moment he wondered if he'd done the wrong thing all those years ago. </p><p>"Go away, Harry." Louis muttered tiredly, bringing up a hand to rub his eyes. Harry hadn't realized that Louis had noticed him, which was why it took him some time to register what he'd said, blinking dumbly at Louis as he did so.</p><p>"Are you-" Harry stuttered, "are you okay?" </p><p>"Peachy." Louis laughed sardonically. "Now go."</p><p>"You're crying." Harry said simply. "What's wrong?" he was worried, he didn't understand why Louis was upset. Louis didn't hate him, right? He couldn't bear the thought of it, not when he'd given everything up for Louis. Maybe he didn't like him, but he didn't hate him. Harry was sure he'd die if Louis did. </p><p>Louis frowned at him, like he couldn't believe Harry was asking something so stupid, before it struck him. Harry was making fun of him. Harry hadn't been but Louis didn't realize that, mistaking the concern for condescension. The frown grew impossibly larger, and Harry shifted uncomfortably at what was undoubtedly rage building up being the azure eyes; reminding him of the ocean; watching the tide pull back until it returned a tsunami, the calm before the storm.</p><p>"Fuck off, dickhead. I don't need your sympathy." Louis snapped harshly, spinning on his heels and storming out of the bathroom, heading back to their table. He was enraged; how dare Harry demean him? He should never have agreed to this, to the band, to the stupid lunch, to any of it, because it had been less than an hour and he still felt more emotionally drained than he had in months; all the feelings he'd bound up and shoved into a box burst right back out at the sight of Harry and there was nothing he'd done to stop it. He'd never felt so pathetic- so powerless in front of anyone, as he'd done with Harry.</p><p>Niall and Liam had looked at him sympathetically once he came back, alerting him to how much of a mess he must've looked; red eyes and rumpled hair- he was a disaster. Harry emerged soon after, looking incredibly upset and Louis would've felt bad, and he did until he remember just how much Harry had hurt him, any feelings of remorse disappearing just as soon as they'd come. Simon had glowered at him throughout their meal, making snide comments whilst discussing their schedule, not forgetting to mention to Louis how he <em>'seriously needed to get in shape - he was looking a little pudgy'</em>, and that they would all start with their vocal coaches again since <em>'all of them, especially Louis needed some serious practice if they wanted to sell any music'</em>. Harry looked at Simon in disbelief, using up every ounce of self restraint he possessed to not lunge at the toad-like man. He was a huge advocate of treating people with kindness, it was his entire motto, but was seriously contemplating changing it to 'treat people with kindness: as long as they were nice to Louis and were <em>not </em>Simon Cowell'. </p><p>The four left soon after, Niall and Liam managing to convince Louis into hanging out with them, ignoring his protests (<em>'</em><em>I refuse to spend anymore time around that asshole'</em> whilst pointing at Harry who only looked away, drowning in guilt, though he didn't know why) in favour of going to play mini-golf; to Niall's delight, which rapidly turned into frustration because <em>'these stupid fucking balls are broken; Liam stop cheating, I saw you, there's no way you're better at this than I am!' </em>to which Liam replied with <em>'narcissistic much?'</em> causing Niall to give him the finger, resembling a tomato with how red he'd gotten. Louis had ignored Harry the entire time they were there, and Harry was ninety-nine-percent sure Louis had attempted to hit him with a golf club at some point, not looking the least bit sorry when Harry gave him a horrified look.</p><p>They were soon kicked out for being too rowdy, giggling and laughing as they roamed the streets; faces barely covered with their hoods and in extreme danger of being mobbed, neither of them caring in the slightest because they hadn't been together in so long, and fuck they'd all missed each other; even though they'd never admit it. But they'd all also changed drastically, where Harry had become more reserved and quiet, Liam radiated friendliness and inexplicable charm he hadn't before; Niall's happy-go-lucky nature had given way to something more serious, the childlike innocence coerced into growing up; Louis' joker-like tendencies had increased in force, reckless decisions coming to him as naturally as the waves came to the moon. And despite the fun they'd had; secretly they were all terrified that it wouldn't work, the fear that they wouldn't fit like they used to at the forefront of everyone's mind as they parted. The promise of tomorrow lingered on their lips; tomorrow being the start of everything, and they could only hope that they wouldn't crash and burn like they had once before, afraid that if it happened again, the ashes of their ruin might be too far spread to gather.</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you liked the chapter, kudos and comments are always appreciated, and thank you for reading!</p><p>(also 'ashes of their ruin' might possibly be the most poetic thing I've ever come up with, edgar allen poe could NEVER)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>it's a bit of a filler, just fleshing out details and character relationships, so you guys have a better idea of what's going on.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>also, 100+ reads, that's fucking insane thank you so much i'm-</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>'is it so wrong, that you make me strong?'</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p><p>The next month-and-a-half passed in a blur, the boys' schedules had been packed to the brim, with multiple pap walks, magazine interviews, and face to face interviews- it was safe to say that they hadn't had a single breathing moment since their contracts had been signed.</p><p>Between attending management initiated meetings and discussing rules that had been ingrained into their heads since they were seventeen, figuring out tour dates and album release dates, and the constant bickering, Louis was sure that being eaten alive by a shark might've been a better fate than this, because although sharks are scary and mean, somehow, Simon was <em>scarier </em>and <em>meaner</em>. Not only had he consistently picked on Louis, he also seemed particularly hell-bent on making all their lives miserable, forcing the boys' to do everything they did not want to do. </p><p>Most of the events from the past weeks had muddled together, except a select few, which were:</p><p>1) The boys had their very first pap walk together the day after the Jean-Georges fiasco for <em>'promotional purposes, let the fans know something is up, it's good publicity'</em> and it had been unpleasant for as far as pap walks go, but they had managed to take some time for just them to hang out, deciding to go to a local bar resulting in four, very, <em>very </em>drunk men stumbling into Liam's house in the middle of the night. They'd crashed almost immediately, limbs all tangled up together, and were awoken by an enraged Maya, who'd dumped about a gallon of water into their faces whilst Bear giggled from behind the sofa, finding his papa's shout of fear extremely funny. He ran away when his other mummy- what he'd referred to her as- gave him a lollipop and told him to shoo, whilst she 'talked' to papa and his friends. Keyword being: <em>'talk'</em>. Much to everyone's dismay, <em>'talking'</em> apparently involved a whole lot of scolding; the four men cowering before the twenty year old, whilst they were lectured about the dangers of drinking, and how irresponsible they had been, and how it was a bad example towards Bear. </p><p>They were all embarrassed and slightly put off by the lecturing; but were quickly consoled by a big breakfast (a meal Louis had not been eating before Maya told him to <em>'suck it up and eat your food Lou, you're not fat in the slightest, Simon's just an idiot' </em>leading Harry to believe that conversations such as this one must've occurred before, which consequently made him want to bash Simon over the head with a stick whilst screaming 'treat Louis with kindness <em>you fucking dick'</em>).</p><p>2) They’d also announced their reunion and attended their very first interview back as a four piece at the Late Late Show, which had been going well until James accidentally let it slip that their game of tattoo-roulette all those years ago was indeed staged, leading to a very distraught and embarrassed Niall. Louis and Liam had (stupidly) laughed at his discomfort, which led to Niall not speaking to them for three whole days, only acknowledging their presence one they had apologized to him and bought him an entire Nandos store. Well not the store, but they did give the franchise a lot of business, which was all Louis was going to say.</p><p>They had <em>not</em> been kidnapped for their return segment, although James had tried his very hardest to get them to agree to it; choosing to announce their return through a crosswalk concert instead, that unfortunately led to the road being sealed off for the next four days in an attempt to keep fans at bay. It had still been fun though, except for the part where Harry almost got hit by a car (he was watching Louis sing, it wasn't his fault in his opinion; Louis should've been less distracting; how was anyone supposed to focus?).</p><p>3) They had also been moved into a shared space, to avoid any stalkers that were bound to be lingering outside their homes, and Maya and Bear had left Los Angeles to go live with Maya's parents somewhere in the country. Lottie had taken Clifford from Louis in that time too, which led to a very depressed Louis- who'd rather missed his dog in the short time it was gone- refusing to talk to his sister, and completely ignoring the fact that she only had his dog because he wouldn't be able to take care of it. He expressed his annoyance at Lottie through some very passive-aggressive tweets directed at her, not to mention he'd unfollowed her, which accidentally caused some very confusing theories about Louis disowning Lottie and vice versa to pop up; and the notion that Louis might potentially be related to King Henry VIII- backed by a family tree chart that had been circulating around instagram for a few days; but that had been shut down pretty quickly. </p><p>4) They had another interview with Ellen, which hadn't gone so well; an argument between Harry and Louis had erupted a second before the show went live, and fans that had attended heard every word of the petty row. As a result, Syco had to do some serious media control as rumors of Louis bullying Harry ran rampant, and both were called into a meeting the next day, Simon using some choice words against the pair, and vaguely mentioning something about a career to Harry causing him to pale drastically, and Louis would've laughed, if Harry hadn't actually looked like he might pass out. Louis didn't quite get why Harry had looked so worried, he was the biggest out of them all (physically and musically), and it wasn't like if Syco dropped him he wouldn't have five hundred different labels on their knees begging him to sign with them.</p><p>But Syco did pay the highest- maybe the prick was in it for the money- Louis wouldn’t put it above him to be so shallow. He was an <em>'arrogant son of a bitch'</em>, as he had so eloquently put is, and who was Louis to contradict him? Anne was lovely though, so he considered excluding the 'son of a bitch' part, but figured it didn't quite have the same effect without it.</p><p>Despite Simon's warning, however, the tension between the pair did not reduce. <em>"A squabble a day, keeps the lovers at bay"</em> was something Niall and Liam had taken to chanting every time Harry and Louis argued, which meant it was a 24/7 chorus of the stupid rhyme in Niall's sing-song, that, in all honesty, made Louis want to rip out his vocal cords and set them on fire (he isn't that violent, he swears) so Niall would never be able to speak again, let alone sing. </p><p>Harry and Louis had tried and failed to keep the peace between them, the civility thing had only lasted about four days before all hell broke loose, the pair constantly bickering about anything and everything <em>'stop putting your feet on the sofa Louis!'</em>; <em>'I swear if I find another curly hair in my clothes I'm going to commit murder'</em>; <em>'do you ever clean after yourself?'</em>; <em>'do you ever shut up you hairy giant?'.</em></p><p>"Years of repressed anger Liam, let them let it out." Niall had said at first, finding the entire ordeal hilarious, but their amusement slowly faded away after weeks of non-stop quarrelling. Both boys were tempted to shut Harry and Louis' mouth using duct tape, a plan that they had succeeded in executing, except when the duct tape came off, so did parts of Louis' beard, which led to a very red-faced Louis, (both literally and figuratively) and a mustache-less Harry, (it wasn't the duct tape; rather Louis' revenge at Harry for making fun of him) and Niall and Liam had both woken up with green hair two days later. Needless to say, they hadn't interfered in Harry's and Louis' fights after that, investing in a pair of sound cancelling earbuds each instead.</p><p>5) Harry had also decided this would be a fantastic time to introduce his girlfriend; something Kendall had been more than happy about. Louis was- as expected- incredibly jealous, and so ensued the battle-of-whores; Harry showering Kendall with extra affection and engaging in large amounts of PDA whenever Louis was around, and Louis coming back with someone new on his arm every day, making a big show of taking the stranger up to his bedroom and not emerging for hours. The walls were pretty soundproof, although Niall was pretty sure Louis tried to make a lot more noise than what was natural, just to piss Harry off. It worked until Harry realized that two could play this game; so now Liam was convinced of the fact that their neighbors believed they were either a) making a very enthusiastic porno or b) prostitutes. </p><p>Liam and Niall were beyond irritated, not fully understanding the gist of it of <em>whatever the fuck </em>Harry and Louis were trying to get at, but letting it happen anyway because arguing with either one of them was like purposefully inviting the devil for tea, an activity neither were too keen to partake in.</p><p>6) Simon had also informed them that they would be leaving for some sort of island <em>(the Maldives)</em>, in the middle of nowhere <em>(not really) </em>to produce their album, which Louis had objected to, passionately announcing that he would rather <em>'drown himself in barbeque sauce and be feasted upon by seagulls'</em> before he went anywhere with Harry, that ended with Harry saying he'd <em>'very gladly supply the condiments needed for Louis' task'</em>.</p><p>And so, the month flew by like that, the hostility between the two growing to the point where they found it difficult to be in a room with the other person without breaking into an argument. <em>And god did they argue. </em>From washing the dishes, to who got to watch TV, to eating, there was not a single moment of peace between the pair, both of whom were getting especially frustrated.</p><p>So far, in a desperate attempt to keep tensions low Niall had done many things; including but not limited to: drawing a line on the couch thus halving it (Louis took the right; Harry took left), multiple timetables for who got to use what when and who had what chores, a divider in the fridge and separate laundry schedules. Suffice to say, they were stretched very thin in terms of tolerance.</p><p>They'd been flown out to the Maldives on Friday, June 13<sup>th</sup> to write and produce their album, Louis loudly proclaiming at the airport that the thirteenth was unlucky as is, but getting Harry to fly with them would surely result in a crash, which led to Harry furiously telling him to get another plane <em>'if you're so bloody worried' </em>or better yet, <em>'not come at all and spare them the headache'</em>, leading to yet another fight between the two.</p><p>"For the love of god, will you shut up?" Niall groaned, tossing a packet of peanuts at the back of Louis' head. They were arguing about who had the 'hottest bod' or something stupid like that now, their voices increasing in both pitch and volume as the fight progressed. “I forbid the two of you to speak to each other." he declared, getting out of his seat and dragging Louis (despite Louis' valiant attempts to fight him back; he had no idea when the Irish idiot had gotten so muscular, tossing Louis over his shoulder like he was a ragdoll) to the other end of their private jet, buckling him in with a harsh "if I hear another word out of your mouth I'm going to hit you, I swear I will Louis, don't tempt me."</p><p>Louis rolled his eyes, giving Niall the finger, and flipping Harry off when Niall wasn't looking. Harry returned the favor by making a rather obscene gesture toward Louis, which, didn't go unnoticed by Niall, whose eyes resembled slits when he turned to look at Harry. He took off his belt, causing Harry to flinch, scared that Niall might actually hit him with it - the man looked very mad - and Harry was a little worried. He gasped in surprise when Niall grabbed both his hands and bound them together behind his back, too shocked to actually do something. It was effective and prevented any movement on Harry's part, who was fuming in his seat.</p><p>"Niall!" he complained, pouting when Niall turned around and went back to his seat, then turning around to glare at Louis who was now suggestively wriggling his eyebrows at him. "Kinky" he mouthed, staring straight at Harry, and thrusting upward whilst imitating Harry's gasp; head thrown back and mouth open, looking rather... hot. Harry couldn't do much in retaliation since he was still tied up- and didn’t dare speak in fear that Niall may gag him- albeit his face was flushed brightly and his pants a little tighter than they had been a few minutes ago. He frantically shook his head, as if to rid them of the dirty thoughts creeping up to the forefront of his mind, whilst Louis laughed silently as if he was completely aware of what was running through Harry's head. </p><p>They sat there in silence for a bit, and soon Louis had fallen asleep against his seat out of boredom, letting out gentle snores, whilst Harry stared at him with what looked like fondness, a small smile on his face at the sight. With his eyes closed shut and hair splayed across his forehead, Louis didn't look quite so angry, his forehead wrinkle-less since he was no longer scowling at Harry. He looked adorable, cocooned in his blankets, and Harry felt the familiar pang of longing once again, the pain in his chest seemed to grow the more time he spent around Louis, who was blissfully unaware.</p><p>Harry was so deep in thought, that he didn't notice when Liam untied his hands, or picked up the peanuts off the floor, and tucked the blanket tighter around his body- too busy looking at Louis; like he was afraid Louis would disappear if he looked away. Liam sadly shook his head at the green-eyed boy, not missing the hurt in his gaze, or the way his eyes were watering- as if the mere sight of Louis was breaking his heart. And perhaps it was, but Harry would never let Louis know – because he was afraid that Louis might not care, or that he might, and Louis not caring about him was the only thing keeping Louis safe, and there was no way that Harry would jeopardize that, even at his own expense.</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so I was trying to develop the Louis and Harry's characters a bit so they wouldn't end up cardboard? Like figuring out how to showcase that they do miss each other without completely drowning them out so it doesn't seem like their only personality trait is crying after their ex, y'know? because then it gets boring, because all you'll be reading is 'wow louis has nice eyes, i will now go into an intense monologue of how much i miss him' and that, my friends, is no fun.</p><p>anyways, tell me how I did (feedback always helps) and leave a kudos if you liked it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>(repost, I've made some very insignificant changes, and cut off half the chapter but it's mostly the same ok here you go)</p><p>plus this chapter feels like it's missing something, and i've read it too many times to recognize what's going wrong help give me feedback tell me it sucks i'll settle for a 'this is terrible' at this point too</p><p>(also, like if you guys don't mind, kudos and comment and stuff? it's a) really sweet b) makes me really happy and c) really does wonders for my motivation)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I cut out like half the chapter bc past me wanted to write something but future me is unable to (and she's tried like five different approaches-) so expect the unexpected from the next chapter; it's gonna be a HUGE surprise. For like, both of us, I have no idea what I'm doing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>'but you've got stars, they're in your eyes'</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p><p>It was 11:20 am when they'd landed, their flight having been just over thirty two hours long and to say that they were tired would be a massive understatement. The airport had taken longer than expected, their baggage had disappeared, and when it did reappear, Harry promptly proceeded to trip over it, hurting his ankle in the process, which resulted in him being wheeled out of the airport in a baggage trolley. Louis had wheeled said trolley- Niall and Liam were busy carrying the rest of their things- Harry clinging on for dear life since Louis seemed to have no sense of speed or direction, wilding flinging the luggage cart however he pleased; Harry had his eyes shut in a desperate attempt to calm himself. </p><p>Louis had tripped over something at one point, possibly the strap of someone's duffel that was strewn carelessly onto the marble tiles, sending the pair crashing toward the floor; Harry got the worst of it, Louis landing right on top of him. Instinctively, his hands wrapped around Louis; a protective gesture that had Louis melting internally, until the sharp voice in his head reminded who was holding him, and the warmth inside slowly trickled away. He made no move to shift however, their noses seemed kind of close, and he swears he wasn't looking at Harry's lips- because <em>he wasn't. </em>He shifted away awkwardly, rolling off of Harry and gathering every theatric bone in his body (and there weren't a lot) to convey a nonchalant facade, whereas in reality his heart was thudding painfully hard, because that was the closest he'd been to Harry physically in years, and he hated that he hadn't wanted Harry to let go.  </p><p>Niall and Liam (bless their souls) pretended to be oblivious to the interaction, Niall slowly hauling Louis off the floor, and Liam helping Harry up, the blue and green eyed boys stealing curious glances at each other, that really didn't go unnoticed by anyone. They headed straight toward the rented accomodation provided on behalf of <em>Modest!;</em> jaws slacked as the took in the huge villa, with more glass than wood, and the stunning beach, a little amazed at Simon's generosity. Louis had half expected some sort of shack, with bunkbeds perhaps, but the modern architecture in front of him was a pleasant surprise.</p><p>Louis and Harry had raced to the master bedroom, the understanding that whoever got there first got the room, and Harry had won, much to Louis' chagrin. His disappointment only grew in force when they realized that the master also came with a jacuzzi- and Louis' pout almost made Harry want to give him the room anyway. Not that he did, the jacuzzi was too good to pass up on, no matter how many cute boys with blue eyes and small hands looked at him like kicked puppies.  </p><p>The rest of their week was spent in vacation-esque laziness, the atmosphere resembling that of children just released for the summer holidays; <em>"full of possibility and adventure" </em>as Louis had said, painting a cartoonish image and swashbuckling pirates and sunken ships they could explore, before Liam astutely pointed out that that was perhaps the dumbest thing he'd heard, and they were here to <em>"work"</em> not go <em>"frockling 'round the beach looking for haunted boats"</em> a sentiment Louis did not share.</p><p>They had kept to themselves for the most part, busy settling into the place that would be considered home for the next couple months and enjoying each other's company whilst doing their own things, the week passing by in the blink of an eye.</p><p>Harry for one, had taken to carefully arranging his hoard of music related paraphernalia, ranging from vinyl collections to the five hundred different pens he'd brought for the sole purpose of writing music - including a peacock feather quill to everyone's amusement - all his assorted notebooks, differing in size, colour, paper texture and weight; and exasperatedly defending why he needed multiple diaries for song writing, the other three laughing at his obvious annoyance. He'd also angrily flicked Louis- hard enough to cause a small red mark to form onto the smooth skin- for browsing through his precious leather bound journal, defensively clutching the notebook that looked comically small in the large hands. It was filled with one too many love songs to be normal, all of them about the same person and therefore would be rather embarrassing having Louis flip through the book, reading corny lyrics that were possibly about him.</p><p>Niall occupied himself with searching the place up and down for food, and looking so incredibly pitiful when he was met with empty cupboards that Harry agreed to take him food shopping immediately, passionately declaring that he could get anything he wanted in the heat of the moment. That had been the wrong thing to say however, since Niall had used his words against him, buying every candy or sweet in sight whilst Harry tried not to have a breakdown over how much <em>sugar</em> there was in the shopping cart, itching to replace one of the five different ice-cream flavors Niall had picked up with something healthier; such as vegetables- like spinach or broccoli or something that wouldn't kill him due to a heart attack. Niall had shot this down immediately, wrinkling his nose at the green in Harry's hands, dismissing him with a waving motion. </p><p>Niall had also browsed through the telly, and fortunately (or unfortunately) found multiple different golf channels, occasionally cursing at the players for missing the goal or something; they couldn't be sure since the profanities came out with surprising quickness and Niall's accent was too strong for anyone to be able to be able to decipher the incoherent noises of anger he was making. Louis had tried asking Niall about the sport, to be met with long definitions and excitable explanations; only sitting through the confusing lecture because Niall looked far too happy to interrupt.</p><p>Liam busied himself with reading, often retreating to his room or the veranda to read his book about giving a fuck, or not giving a fuck? He didn't actually know what he was reading when Harry asked him, claiming it was <em>"part of the process"</em>. It was soon discovered that the book in question was called The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck and Liam found it immensely frustrating to read, finding out the hard way that he was the kind of person that gave far too many fucks, in a very not-subtle way. He'd also been drawing, much to Harry's horror, who quickly realized that Liam was not the neatest of artists, finding paint splatters and charcoal thumb prints all over the walls and floor.  </p><p>Louis was having the most fun, (in his opinion at least) having spent almost everyday at the beach, switching between admiring the view and ogling at the hot lifeguard- all toned abs and gorgeously tanned skin (Louis was an absolute goner the second he saw the man). He had tried to surf in an attempt to get said lifeguard's attention, but due to his lack of practice and the fact that he hadn't surfed in about six years, he had almost drowned; so he did manage to attract the hot lifeguard's attention just not in the way he wanted (being covered in seaweed and coughing up salt water wasn't exactly attractive). Niall had teased him relentlessly about it, Louis' cheeks turning a bright red every time he brought it up, whilst Harry gave the lifeguard the dirtiest looks he could conjure, not seeing his appeal (he was far better looking, a thought he accidentally voiced, Liam chuckling before stating that <em>someone</em> seemed a little jealous, a claim Harry frantically denied).  </p><p>This beach was definitely the best one they'd ever travelled to (and they'd travelled to enough places for Niall to count twice over his fingers and still not reach the end of the list) - white sand glittering under the hot sun, water sparkling with hundreds of different shades of blue, seafoam and sapphire and everything in between. They spent the day in the sea, paddling about lazily and looking at the horizon, Louis wondering out loud how far they would have to swim to touch the horizon, holding his hands out in front of him and squinting his eyes as if to gauge the distance between them; the three beside him quietly cooing at the innocence of it all; despite being the oldest he was still the most childish at heart, and it was <em>"really fucking adorable" </em>as Niall had said, Louis vehemently defending himself; <em>"not adorable, 'm manly... and handsome" </em>causing the other three to burst into laughter, their giggles reverberating in the vast emptiness. </p><p>At some point Louis had floated towards Harry, whose hand easily found Louis' smaller one, fingers intertwining like it was natural, that neither had noticed until they had. Harry's hand was wrapped tightly around Louis, and Harry didn't think Louis had realised, though when he went to let go, Louis held on tighter, eyes still focused on the sky above, all pinks and oranges and lilacs, a muted disarray of colours, and Louis had never seen something so beautiful. Harry would've agreed wholeheartedly, though it was obvious to everyone except Louis what he was talking about, not the sky but rather the blue-eyed boy floating peacefully next to him, a tranquil expression on his face; nothing was prettier to Harry than Louis. </p><p>Harry's grip was gentle where Louis' was firm; he was squeezing so hard it hurt, unsaid words flowing where their skin touched, the anger clawing underneath Harry's fingernails, counteracted with the blissful warmth that came with <em>fitting</em>; and how easily their fingers slotted together- <em>like two pieces of a jigsaw</em>, Harry thought, because as cliche as it was, there was no other way to describe why Louis' hand interlocked in his like it was his own.</p><p>He let go, watching as Louis' hand floated back to him, all the stars that had come out in the sky reflected clearly in the crystal gaze; albeit the stars in Louis' eyes shined brighter than those above him, and how could Harry ask for Louis to be <em>his</em>; where Louis was a supernova, all the stars <em>exploding </em>and <em>combining </em>and <em>taking the world </em>like it belonged to them, because it did; whilst Harry was nothing more than a flash, too small, too insignificant compared to Louis, and everything<em>, everything </em>he was, because he truly was; everything.</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have exams (which like- ew gross) so the next update will probably be a little while; a week, maybe two at best. </p><p>Thank you for reading, and have a nice day!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I feel like I've tricked you into reading this because the chapters seem to be getting worse or something, and with every chapter I post my brain is like this is the *one* where they finally realise that you've managed deceive them into believing that this is good</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>posted it and then decided to shorten it, also played with a bit of dialogue near the end? these were getting kind monologue-y and i'm gonna like edit the other two scene breaks so they're more like,, informative and less summary-esque, the joys of being indecisive fucking hell</p><p>I also can't decide if Jay and Felicite (rest in peace to the both of them) are well, alive in this story, so we're leaving it up in the air for now, I'll figure it out later</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>'little black dress, who you doin' it for?"</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p><p>"You look fantastic, Lou!" Liam squealed, reminding Louis an awful lot of a teenage girl; he was quite well acquainted with them actually, having grown up with four. It brought back faded memories actually; Louis vaguely remembered Felicite's first crush <em>("he's so cute Lou, look!")</em> , and the first time he'd ever felt a surge of protectiveness for his siblings- he'd almost passed out when she brought home a boy, finding the idea of his <em>little </em>sister dating a <em>boy</em>, dating anybody really, blasphemous. He'd told Jay this, indignantly demanding that she get rid of this <em>boy</em>, who only laughed and asked Louis what he planned on doing when <em>"Fizzy gets married"</em>, Louis angrily declaring then and there that no one was ever marrying his sister, <em>ever</em>. The idea of someone whisking his sisters away from home - husbands or boyfriends - always got Louis riled up, because it just <em>wasn't happening</em>, not as long as he had a say in it. (This would also be the reason he was never informed of any boyfriends' or such, the girls were rather afraid Louis might end up with a murder charge if he knew.)</p><p>"Ya think?" he cocked a brow, checking himself out in the small vanity, smoothing out the wrinkles from his t-shirt, before turning to face Niall and Liam who were perched comfortably on his king-sized bed. He stared at his reflection, and at the risk of sounding pompous, he fully agreed with Liam; he thought he looked <em>marvelous</em>, clad in a tight fitting t-shirt and jean-shorts which Liam said (and I quote) <em>'the yellow brings out your eyes, it's so perfect!'.</em> Louis didn't quite understand how, he had <em>blue </em>eyes and the shirt was decidedly not blue, but he didn't plan on asking Liam, mainly out of the fear that he might launch into yet another one of his colour theory speeches; something about a wheel and complementary colours- the fucking art snob that he was.</p><p>"Adrien's gonna be all over you!" Niall added, looking Louis up and down appreciatively. "You look great, like, I'd <em>totally</em> bang you if I was gay." he drawled, mimicking a trashy american accent, wiggling his brows suggestively. He was rather proud of this compliment, watching in amusement as Louis did the same thing he did everytime Niall told him that; which was roll his eyes irritatedly at the irishman. How dearly Niall hoped they got stuck in his head, at least then he wouldn't have to watch the blue irises disappear five million times a day; it gave him whiplash.</p><p>Not that you could blame Louis really, the amount of times Niall had praised Louis with the exact same phrase was outrageous, and Louis fully suspected he didn't mean it half the time, not that he'd called Niall out on it. He did look <em>super-bangable</em> though- oh, he was <em>definitely</em> getting laid by the end of the week. </p><p>They'd been lounging on the beach, as one does whilst vacationing (Liam called it <em>'working' </em>though Louis, who hadn't seen him do any work in the past two weeks fervently disagreed, <em>"you're in denial mate"</em>) when Adrien- <em>the hot lifeguard</em> casually strolled up toward the four. Louis - who most certainly <em>had not</em> been checking him out for the past ten minutes - gaped as the man walked over, Niall harshly poking him in the side; "<em>close your mouth before you catch any flies, dipshit".</em></p><p>The lifeguard had then proceeded to flirt with Louis (yes, in front of all of his friends; Louis had to admit that the unearned confidence was extremely sexy), Louis stumbled awkwardly through the unexpected interaction, before the lifeguard asked <em>him</em> to <em>hangout</em>, just the two of them, when Louis - quite stupidly too - blurted out "<em>like a date?".</em> His mouth always ran much faster than his head, it was one of his many drawbacks.</p><p>The <em>massive-hunk-of-human-hotness</em> only winked at that, throwing out a quick "<em>meet me at the tea shop at five? I'll be waiting" </em>sauntering off without waiting for a reply, whistling out a lively tune as he left. He'd also somehow managed to slip his number into their beach bag, Liam found it buried underneath Niall's twenty different brands of packets of chips, gleefully holding it up in the air, and out of Louis' reach - it was adorable and also fun to watch, especially when Louis puffed out his cheeks, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Theodore (the fat chipmunk in Alvin and the chipmunks, for those of you that may be unaware). He'd relented eventually, when Louis threatened to kick him in the balls; <em>"I can very easily reach down there, dickhead" </em>not doubting for a second that Louis would follow through with his threat. </p><p>Harry had stared daggers at Adrien throughout the entire date-asking-debacle, and if looks could kill, Liam was sure Adrien would be a smouldering pile of ashes on the ground beside them, Harry very truly looked murderous. Harry wasn't an angry person, but he did make a few exceptions. </p><p>They'd hurried back to the villa after, Louis dragged Liam along to help him pick something out to wear and Niall followed, Harry disappearing somewhere into his room. Louis wasn't mad or anything, he wasn't exactly expecting him to stay and give his opinions on Louis' fashion sense - they'd been getting along better, but they were still exes after all. It would've been awkward if Harry had offered his assistance. </p><p>They were all in his bedroom; Louis had tried on about five t-shirts and six different pair of shoes in twenty minutes, finally settling on a yellow-black-white top paired with light blue shorts and white sneakers (after a lot of reassurance that '<em>yes, he looked great'</em> and '<em>no, the yellow didn't wash him out'</em>). His hair was styled into a fringe on Niall's insistence, two sticks of gum shoved in his mouth and a rubber in his back pocket - courtesy of Liam, who vehemently reminded Louis about the basics of safe sex, like Louis was sixteen or something.</p><p>"Y'know, you and the lifeguard dude, would totally have hot as fuck babies." Niall said randomly, casually playing with the hem of his shorts. "Like seriously."</p><p>Liam snorted unamused, Louis looking over at Niall who looked thoroughly pleased with his observation. "Why'd you say that?" he quizzed, pushing his bangs around in an effort to make them look semi-decent before he had to leave. Niall sat up suddenly, eyes widened as if he'd made a perfectly sensible statement.</p><p>"You're kidding right?" Louis shrugged, turning back to the mirror in front of him. "Well that lifeguard is fuckin' gorgeous Lou, and you're not half bad-"</p><p>"Gee thanks, Ni, really appreciate the ego boost." Louis interrupted, glaring at Niall who was smirking.</p><p>"Like I was sayin', you're not too bad yourself - push the fringe to the right, okay yeah-" he paused, looking satisfactorily at Louis' hair, resuming his sentence, "and your genes would def combine to make hot fucking babies, because like, dna and shit. Get me?"</p><p>"Why the fuck would you even-" Liam started, "hot babies? isn't that like-" he backtracked, taking in Niall's horrified expression.</p><p>"Not like that, whore, just, ew- no, I meant cute. Cute babies." he amended, lightly slapping Liam in retaliation. </p><p>"Who'd you think would bottom?" Louis asked, grinning back at his friends. They were amusing, he'd give them that.</p><p>"You."</p><p>"Adrien." Liam looked at Niall confusedly, wrinkling his forehead slightly. "Louis isn't a bottom-"</p><p>"Yea but for that guy? Lou is like 5'4 Li, there's no way he's topping. Plus, Lou <em>wants</em> to get fuckin' wrecked by that lifeguard, I mean there's no way he's-"</p><p>"Okay, that's enough, Christ, Ni." Louis laughed, feeling slightly uncomfortable, aiming a hairbrush at Niall. He loved Niall, he really did, but the kid had no filter, the only difference between him and Louis being that he actively chose to announce the nonsense in his head, compared to Louis who did it completely on accident. He wasn't going to argue though - not the bottoming part, he was a top, no debate there - they would have really cute babies, there was no denying that. He was good looking, the lifeguard was <em>very</em> good looking, and they'd have good looking babies. </p><p>"Just because you don't like wha' I say, doesn't mean you have to assault me." Niall whined, gingerly rubbing the small bump on his forehead. Louis chuckled in response, blowing Niall a kiss and quickly slipping his iPhone into his front pocket, doing a quick once over. </p><p>"Okay boys, 'm off, be back soon yeah?" he grinned, pulling on some sneakers and rushing toward the door.</p><p>"I wanna hear all about the juicy details when you're back!" Niall called out, an incoherent mumble following his words, accompanied by a loud groan and the light smacking noise, bringing a faint smile to his face. </p><p>"Alright, bye!"</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this one is so much longer than my other chapters, props to me</p><p>also if you like it please,, comment??? i need to know if people are still enjoying this</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ok so you might've read the beginning but like read the whole thing cause I changed it a lot and added a shit ton of dialogue (i'm also very proud of it) and yeah ok enjoy! </p><p>also like, this is completely unrelated BUT i really fucking hate math it's the worst thing to exist and makes me both want to die and kill someone else at the same time what even is a matrix im????????</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>'do you think it's easy, being of the jealous kind?'</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p><p>Harry was fully aware of how creepy what he was doing was, and how bizarre he must've looked crammed in the small booth; all knees and elbows and other joints pressed together uncomfortably, tufts of curly hair poking out from the top of the menu he was hiding behind in an attempt to disguise himself. He wasn't exactly sure what had propelled him to make such a decision- being jealous was <em>one thing</em>, but following Louis on his <em>date</em> was another entirely, and Harry thoroughly regretted doing it. He'd attempted to leave multiple times, but either one of the two just happened to turn every time he tried, causing him to fearfully scurry back into the booth like a frightened mouse or something. </p><p>He did look incredibly out of place in the small booth, his all black outfit - which in hindsight didn't make too much sense - stood out amongst the bright cafe, and the few tourists, all dressed in colours that were much brighter. He didn't quite consider his surroundings whilst picking out his <em>super spy outfit, </em>the all black might've worked for any scenario except this one. He also had that air around him, the kind that screamed that he'd done something wrong; the nervousness in his posture was akin to that of a child who'd eaten extra candy when he wasn't supposed to, or rifled through his mom's things when he was told specifically not to; culpability hanging around his entire persona.</p><p>He would sneak furtive glances at the pair every so often, before quickly looking back down; a thundercloud of guilt hovering above him that entirely overshadowed the entire point of what he was supposed to be doing. Which was spying. A skill that required subtlety and tact, both of which Harry lacked - he'd knocked over the salt shaker four times now and he was pretty sure he saw Louis look back confusedly around the third time he'd done it.</p><p>He really hadn't meant to trail Louis, it just sort of happened; a spur of the moment thing. Like deciding to dye your hair and then instantly hating yourself for it - it seemed like a good idea when he was doing it. Just not so much after. </p><p>He'd been eavesdropping on the conversation between the two, they were both loud and the place was practically deserted, which made that much easier. Louis seemed to be getting along rather well with the lifeguard, and cruel as it was, Harry <em>hated</em> that Louis could be happy - that he could go on dates and snog people, and do all of it without thoughts of someone else at the back of his head. </p><p>It wasn't like Harry didn't have anyone; he had <em>Kendall</em>, who served as a great option to fall back on if he felt lonely, or missed Louis, which was a lot, so he naturally found himself around the pretty model quite a bit. He was using her, but the alternative was well, missing Louis, and he really <em>hated </em>doing that. He was supposed to have moved on, it had been five years for <em>chrissakes</em>. Furthermore, he'd initiated their split, he should've been the one to not care, not Louis. It wasn't fair that Louis got to move on whilst he was still stuck on them, hadn't he suffered enough already? He was selfish, and even with the most selfless thing he'd ever done, he couldn't help but resent Louis for the choices he had to make, all to keep <em>Louis</em> safe, when he remained oblivious.</p><p>He wasn't paying attention anymore, his mind was a clutter of <em>Louis, Louis</em> <em>and</em> <em>oh would you look at that, more Louis</em>. Now say that he had been paying attention, he would've noticed when Adrien (<em>the hot lifeguard</em>) left, or when Louis soundlessly made his way through the cafe, a smirk on his face as he headed straight toward Harry.</p><p>"Fancied a drink, did we?" Louis chuckled, breaking Harry out of his stupor. It was rather comical, Harry's head shot up fast enough that for a second Louis was a little worried he might've broken his neck, hue quickly rising till it rivalled that of a cherry, eyes widened in horror and perhaps the embarrassment that accompanied being found out.  </p><p>"Uh, I- uhm, yeah." Harry stuttered after three seconds of blank staring, ducking his face back into the menu he'd been hiding himself with - maybe if he couldn't see Louis, he would <em>disappear</em>. His thoughts had seamlessly shifted toward something more appropriate, involving a heavy stream of unfiltered curses harmonising with a repeated trisyllabic phrase that went something like: <em>ohmygod, shit, ohmygod, fuck, OHMYGOD, SHITFUCKSHIT. </em>There wasn't much range, but it conveyed his state of mind very effectively- he was kind of hoping that a hole might open up in the ground and then he'd crawl into it and die and never have to face Louis ever again.  </p><p>"You'd make a terrible stalker." Louis pointed out, plopping into the empty space beside Harry. "I could see you from my booth, you're not <em>that</em> subtle, loser." </p><p>"I wasn't stalking you." Harry squeaked defensively, voice rising by several octaves, a surefire sign that he was lying. "I was just- I was getting some coffee." He nodded frantically, as if his desperate head bobbing would add to his credibility. Not that it did, Louis did have somewhat of a functioning head, and Harry really was a terrible liar. Pretty little liars, but without the lying. Pretty bad liars. Harry was a pretty bad liar.</p><p><em>With his feelings on fire, guess he's a bad liar.</em> </p><p>"Really?" Louis pushed, resting his head on his hand, the other one lying on the table as he looked at Harry with mock curiosity.</p><p>"Really." </p><p>"This place doesn't sell coffee, you know." Louis indicated at the lettering adorning the flipside of the menu that read <em>Madame Tussauds Tea shop</em>. "<em>It's a</em> <em>tea shop</em>," he drawled out, painfully slow, taunting Harry. "Also, you don't like coffee." he added as an afterthought, a triumphant look on his face.</p><p>Harry flipped the menu, eyes running over the name of the store, painfully realising that Louis was in fact, <em>right</em>. He had been caught, there was absolutely no way he could lie his way out of this. Louis had him cornered. Louis watched in amusement as Harry's gaze darted back and forth, jumping between Louis, the door, and the menu. Harry was seriously contemplating making a run for it, Louis' legs were too short to catch him anyway. And it seemed he had decided to do just that, because he was out of his seat in a flash, sprinting toward the doorway, and he would've gotten away too, if it wasn't for his inadequate motor skills; <em>i.e:</em> <em>he was a clumsy little shit and fell over his own feet before he could run out. </em></p><p>Louis tried not to laugh as he saw Harry hit the floor, tentatively walking to where he was sprawled out, mirth dancing in the blue sapphires.</p><p>"You okay there?" he really tried to keep his chuckles in, he did, but it was the funniest thing he'd seen all day so the fact that he failed spectacularly in doing so wasn't that surprising. Harry groaned from below, Louis seemed to be dying, snorting and wheezing for all he was worth, reminding Harry of a dying cat. He groaned again, he was plenty humiliated, and Louis wasn't helping the situation with his unnecessary giggling.</p><p>"Oh, I'm grand."</p><p>Louis should've been mad, hell, he was trying very hard to be but his pity for Harry right now (being caught stalking your ex could never <em>not </em>be embarrassing), paired with his inability to actually be mad at the curly haired man prevented him from doing so, and he eventually found himself gently pulling Harry up by the back of his shirt. His fingers carefully brushed Harry's face, examining him for a broken nose - it was red, but not broken, <em>thankfully </em>- and any other bruises, lightly grabbing Harry's jaw so he could get a closer look. He pulled his hand away seconds later, dusting his shorts and letting out a long sigh. The three people in the back of the cafe hadn't seemed to notice either of them, much to his relief, he was embarrassed enough as is- imagine if people were ogling at them too.</p><p>"You're a moron, you know." Louis got up, holding out his hand for Harry to take. Except Louis didn't really have the strength to pull Harry up, so when HArry reached out to haul himself up, it consequently sent Louis crashing straight down, falling onto Harry's chest with a small 'oomph', hands resting on either side of his head. His slowly opened his eyes, having shut them as a reflex, only to be met by a forest of green looking intently at him, and Louis could've sworn he felt sparks fly. Metaphorical sparks. He'd be on fire if they were real. </p><p>"Sorry, I'll, uh-" Louis scrambled off Harry, face flushed bright pink, almost hitting his head on a chair leg in his haste.</p><p>Harry laughed, in a pathetic attempt to diminish the unpleasantness of the situation, easily lifting himself up. He held out a hand to Louis, who looked at him skeptically before grabbing it, a sheepish look on his face as he quickly headed toward the exit with Harry following in tow. </p><p>"Y'know," Louis started as they were walking down the cobbled path, "I didn't really peg you as one of those weird, obsessive types. Guess I was wrong, huh?" </p><p>Harry blushed crimson, slowly rubbing his neck with the back of his hand. "I- uh, I'm sorry?" </p><p>"That a question, or an apology?" Louis said snarkily, kicking a pebble that was in his way. He wasn't mad, but he <em>was</em> superbly irritated; he couldn't believe Harry actually fucking spied him on his date, the <em>audacity</em> - okay, maybe he was a <em>little mad</em>.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Louis." he said more forcefully this time, sounding awfully sincere, to Louis' surprise. "I- there's really no excuse, 'm really sorry, didn't mean to y'know, I, yeah" he stuttered near the end, losing his traction; tripping over his words so that they were all muddled together, his accent a little more prominent. He must've been really upset, Louis thought to himself, Harry's stutter only came to show when something terrible would happen.</p><p>"'s okay." he didn't see how Harry hadn't meant to, but the poor kid looked so traumatized, Louis didn't have it in himself to make it any worse.</p><p>"It's- what?" Harry asked disbelievingly. He was used to Louis being mad at him, it's the only emotion he'd expressed toward him for the past month, and this time, it would actually be justified. "You're not mad?" he asked hesitantly, anxiously glancing at Louis.</p><p>"I'm not mad." Louis affirmed, lightly shoving Harry. "Pissed? Definitely. Mad, though? Not really." he shrugged. Harry didn't know what to say to that, so he ended up saying nothing at all.</p><p>"I don't blame you for it Hazzy, who wouldn't want a piece of <em>this</em>?" he chuckled, trying to break the tension that had settled, bumping Harry's shoulder. Harry froze momentarily at the casual use of the nickname, but didn't linger on it; it was just a slip of tongue. Nothing else.</p><p>"Not me, obviously." he remarked, slowing down a little to match Louis' pace, the two walking now side by side.</p><p>Louis' scowl faded, a grin on his face as he gave Harry a light shove. "Rude much?"</p><p>"Sorry to break it to you, but you're just not my type." They both laughed at that, gaining the attention of several passersby, neither of the two paying mind to the baffled stares they were getting.</p><p>"That sounds like a lie."</p><p>"It really isn't."</p><p>"I'm everyone's type." Louis defended, looking slightly offended. </p><p>"Not mine though." Harry teased, trying to contain the giant smile that was threatening to break out.</p><p>"But-" Louis paused, not really sure of what to say. "But, you dated me-" he paused nervously, "so I must be your type." </p><p>"Hm, my type changed then I s'pose." Harry said casually, missing the sudden droop of Louis' shoulders. </p><p>"Yeah, guess it did." Louis murmured, his voice more somber than he'd expected it to be. Harry didn't miss that though, feeling the tiniest bit of remorse lodge in his chest.</p><p>"I-" </p><p>"I really hate curly hair now, y'know." Louis said matter-of-factly, walking slightly faster. The declaration was sudden and had come out of nowhere - Harry was slightly confused. </p><p>"Oh?" Harry asked quietly, his heart doing that thing where it seemed to choke itself with its own arteries or something- either way, it really hurt. Louis wasn't too sure why he'd said that, he just didn't want to see Harry look that depressed and hence, blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. He didn't quite understand why he thought insulting Harry's facial features would make him feel better though, but then again, Louis wasn't necessarily the best with people, he tended to blindly wing it and hope it worked. Which it often did, just to give him some credit.   </p><p>"Yeah. And green eyes. They're ugly, like- kale." he finished lamely, the smallest of grins on his face. He was trying to make him feel better, Harry realized with a pang. He really didn't deserve Louis, at all.</p><p>"What else?" Harry prodded, playing along.</p><p>"Dimples." Louis wasn't lying, not completely, it was more of a series of half truths, things he sort of hated because of the person they reminded him of. It was also pretty therapeutic to make fun of Harry; he was thoroughly enjoying the activity. Maybe he should do it more often.</p><p>"I really dislike blue eyes." Harry returned, smirking at Louis.</p><p>"Nipples." Louis laughed, noticing they were somehow on the beach, they always seemed to end up there, strangely enough. "Like four nipples- kinda overbearin' right? Pretty ugly too."</p><p>"They're not <em>ugly! </em>Just... unique."</p><p>"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Louis conceded, a sly smile on his face.</p><p>"You have ugly hair." Harry ruffled Louis' hair as if he was trying to prove a point, making it stand up at weird angles, and looking incredibly pleased with himself once he saw Louis' disgruntled expression.</p><p>"You have an ugly face."</p><p>"My face is prettier than yours!"</p><p>"Hm, yeah you wish, Tomlinson."</p><p>"It most definitely is, you- you toad." Louis mentally groaned. For all the sass people claimed him capable of, the only thing he could come up with was <em>'toad'</em>? Christ, someone really needed to revoke his title. He couldn't have come up with a worse insult even if he tried.</p><p>"Toad?" Harry asked, amusement slipping into his tone. </p><p>"Yeah, <em>toad</em>. Warty and long legged." Way to go Louis. He mentally congratulated himself for that recovery, he was so <em>good </em>at this, why did people even bother?</p><p>"I'm not warty!"</p><p>"You don't deny that you're long legged?" </p><p>"You think everyone's long legged, you're short."</p><p>Louis gasped dramatically. "I am <em>not short</em>, I'm 5'9!"</p><p>"And I'm the queen of England." Harry snorted, shaking his head. Louis didn't actually think he was 5'9 did he?</p><p>"No, you're a bitch." Louis whined, watching in concern as Harry's features lifted into a mischievous smile. <em>Oh dear.</em></p><p>"Your bitch?" Harry teased, unable to hold back his chuckles at Louis' horrified face.</p><p>"You wish, Styles." </p><p>"Oh, <em>fuck off.</em>"</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>here's what you gotta do now:<br/>1) kudos? it's very nice and makes me super happy and I have exams now I very genuinely need all the validation you can give<br/>2) comment!! (please D; ) what i said before ^^^ also they're like very sweet and stuff<br/>3) tell me how great the dialogue turned out because it took me SO LONG and it would be really nice if you did</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>it's been a whole ass month, and this chapter was near impossible to write because i had no clue how to go about it, but i figured it out (eventually) and i also happen to really like it, so i hope you do too :)</p><p>happy reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>'baby you light up my world like nobody else'</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p><p>"I don't see it! Are you sure it's in here?" Louis called out loudly. He'd been rifling through Harry's drawers for the past ten minutes, and was getting rather impatient because there was no sign of any <em>pale yellow spf 50 sunblock</em> bottles, as Harry had fervently insisted there was going to be. He threw yet another white t-shirt behind him, right into a pile of everything else that had been taken and thrown by Louis out on the floor behind him, splayed messily across hardwood flooring.</p><p>"It's there, look carefully!" Harry shouted back exasperatedly, seriously regretting asking Louis to retrieve the sunblock, as he repeated the same question for the third time. </p><p>"It isn't, come check!" Louis replied, digging through Harry's underwear drawer now, sniggering to himself at the gryffindor themed underwear at the far back, all gold and sparkly - it would be terrifically exciting to make fun of Harry for this. </p><p>Harry groaned from the kitchen, dropping the assortment of sandwiches into the picnic basket frustratedly.</p><p>It was his idea to have a beach day - he assumed that the outside would fare them well considering they'd spent almost every day since June cooped up indoors writing. It was August now, for reference, and they had about twenty songs written, their groove having been admittedly, rather hard to fall back into, but they'd managed and with the promise of cooler weather hovering around the corner, Harry figured it was the perfect time to take advantage of the few warm days left. </p><p>The plan was set in motion for today, except they were supposed to be out the door nearly thirty minutes ago, but Louis couldn't find the sunscreen and Niall kept trying to put apples on top of the cupcakes which would squish them, and Liam - well, he didn't even know what Liam was doing. </p><p>He stomped to his room, almost letting out a shriek at the disarray, all his clothes scattered around the floor as Louis tried, and failed to find the bottle of sunscreen, casually flinging Harry's clothes behind him as he did. Harry almost sobbed at the sight of his gucci blouse laying crumpled on the floor, hastily picking it off the ground before laying it neatly on the king sized bed.</p><p>"Harry-" Louis started, bum stuck up into the air as he ducked his head inside one of Harry's cupboards, which, well, Harry didn't stare, alright? He didn't. For the most part.</p><p>"Christ, I'm here!" Harry snapped. "What the fuck are you doin'?" he tore his gaze away from Louis' ass, surveying the space for the bottle of sunscreen, and finding it on the dresser - exactly where he told Louis he'd kept it.</p><p>"I checked everywhere an'-" Louis muttered, sheepishly poking his head out of the cabinet. "it's not there!"</p><p>"It's right there!" Harry said incredulously, tiptoeing around the mess as he made his way to the other side of his room, picking up the bottle before waving it in Louis' face like it was a banner of some sort. "See!"  </p><p>"Oh-" Louis mumbled abashedly, "It wasn't there b'fore!"</p><p>"Unless it grew legs and walked over, I dunno how it could've been anywhere else." Harry replied drily, brows furrowed in annoyance. The furrowing only grew more prominent as he fully took in the state of his once spotless room that Louis had, somehow, managed to destroy in the span of five minutes.</p><p>He frowned, lightly pinching the bridge of his nose, torn between whether he should force Louis to clean up the mess he'd made now or later, the hypothetical time limit he'd put on the task (of getting out of the house and onto the beach) weighing heavy on his mind.</p><p>Louis, now professional mind reader apparently, seemed to sense Harry's conflict, letting out a hurried <em>"I'll clean it up soon as we get back, let's go now!"</em> and that was the end of that, a singular hand wrapped (sort of, it was too small to fully carry out the action, which was for whatever reason, ridiculously endearing), around Harry's wrist dragging him out of his room and shutting the door behind them.</p><p>"You're cleaning that up later," Harry said, earning a non committal hum from Louis, enthusiasm waning the further away they got from Harry's room. He scrunched up his nose as he trailed behind the shorter man, whose hands were now lightly circling his wrists - the touch oddly intimate for what they were, Harry realized, pulling his arms away from Louis' grasp.</p><p>An hour and several mishaps later they were ready to leave, beach towels and balls and books tucked under their arms, Liam dragging two guitars and some pens (just incase inspiration struck), whilst Harry happily swung a meticulously packed picnic basket in his clutches as they followed Louis to a different part of the island from where they usually loitered. </p><p>The aforementioned place was hidden by a thick patch of shrubs and trees, vines wrapped around tree trunks and large roots making up the dirt track - causing the boys to have to wrestle their way through plants in near darkness, despite the fact the it was practically midday. </p><p>"Why can't we sit in our usual spot?" Harry grumbled, after being unceremoniously smacked in the face by yet another branch, the tips of his fingers grabbing onto the back of Niall's shirt so as to not get lost. Or fall over, or something equally as embarrassing. Liam was behind him, fingers threaded into the loops of Harry's shorts, and Louis was in the far front, guided by the dim light emanating from his phone flashlight.</p><p>"Yeah, <em>Lewis</em>, why can't we?" Niall snickered, giving Harry the impression he was missing on an inside joke of some kind.</p><p>"You know why," Louis said shortly.</p><p>"I don't though." Harry piped up, training a confused gaze to the back of Niall's head.</p><p>"Because." Louis said embarrassedly, and if it was brighter, Harry mused, he would be able to see the light blush that surely dusted the his face.</p><p>"Because what?" Niall prodded again, sounding thoroughly pleased with himself as he further riled Louis up. "Is it because of <em>Adrieeen?</em>" he was positively cackling now, dragging out the ending syllables of the name as far as he possibly could, and Harry froze for a second, mind drifting back to his unfortunate accidental stalking incident. He doubted Louis would tell, they hadn't explicitly discussed it, but it kind of went without saying, right? </p><p>"Shut up Niall."</p><p>Niall turned around conspiratorially, the whites of his eyes barely visible as he looked at Harry. "Louis' avoiding <em>his man</em>," he cackled at the term, "because their date-" he lowered his voice, "didn't go that well."</p><p>"For fucks sake, Niall." Louis grunted irritatedly. "Don't make me <em>want</em> to hit you."</p><p>"Wanna know why? 'S 'cause Adrien-" Niall stopped abruptly, his excited chatter cutting off mid-sentence.</p><p>A loud scuffle followed the silence, accompanied by a pained cry merely seconds later, and Louis mumbling out a smug <em>"I warned you, din' I?"</em>, and Niall extracting his hands from where Harry was holding on to rub at his bruised torso that had just been victim to Louis' bony elbow.</p><p>He didn't instigate further conversation on the matter, though Louis could make out the faint mutters of <em>"dickhead"</em>, and <em>"fucking piece of shit" </em>as Niall walked. It was fairly amusing.  </p><p>It wasn't that Louis was actively avoiding Adrien, except, he was avoiding Adrien. It wasn't that there was something wrong specifically, just that although the man resembled a walking Adonis, he didn't have much else to offer, and the initial cockiness that was somewhat attractive got - frankly - annoying. All beauty, and absolutely no brains. It also didn't help that his traitorous mind enjoyed comparing every prospective boyfriend or such to Harry, a habit he was still trying to break out of. It was immensely irritating, and the fact that Harry had been keeping tabs on him throughout didn't exactly serve to distract.</p><p>Louis had started retreating to a different corner of the beach two days after their date, his normal spot having being occupied by Adrien's unwelcome presence, that refused to scatter despite Louis' pointed hints. All in a day's work though, Adrien's clinginess led him to finding his current favourite place on the island, ignoring that the trip there was less than comfortable. The views quite made up for it anyway.</p><p>After two more minutes of fighting their way through the woodland, Harry could make out the faintest wisps of sunlight, their surroundings gradually getting lighter. The sudden onslaught of light took a few seconds of getting used to, though once the had, it was objectively, one of the most breathtaking views they had ever been privy to.</p><p>Sparkling oceanic water stretched out for miles, shimmering cyans and aquas paired with a lonesome shore, save for the seagulls skimming across the shallow water of the tide pools around or perched upon licorice coloured rocks. Gentle waves lapped on its edges, the sounds of birds chirping mixed in with the slapping sounds of water against uneven surfaces, and then the quieter whoosh of the breeze making for a lovely naturesque orchestra; an almost tangible serenity girding the hideaway.</p><p>"Holy fuck, Tommo, how'd you find this?" Niall's jaw was agape while he examined the scenery, hands on his hips as he kicked off his flip flops with a newfound excitement, toes burrowing into the warm sand.</p><p>Louis shrugged, a lazy smile on his face as he winked at Niall. He slowly laid his surfboard onto the ground, plopping down softly beside it, squinting with concentration as he adjusted the straps, measuring the black band around his ankles before resuming his fiddling. Niall and Liam were long gone by the time he was satisfied with the size, their clothes tossed into a pile on one of the loungers Liam had set up.</p><p>He could hear Liam's squeals in the distance, accompanied by Niall's boisterous laughter, the soundtrack in it's background being Lana del Ray's cinnamon, courtesy of Harry and his portable speakers. He was situated on a navy and white striped beach towel, back muscles relaxed as they faced the sky, a book propped up in his hands. Figures, leave it to Harry to visit a breathtaking island and spend it reading a romance novel. </p><p>Louis sighed lowly - the sound was unbelievably fond, though he would deny those claims - slipping off his shirt and shorts in quick succession and putting them away with everyone else's clothes, before digging through the basket for the sunscreen.</p><p>Now, what happened next was probably one of the most cliched moments of his life, taken straight out of the romance novel Harry was reading or something; a pathetic plot device to forward a practically non existent relationship. The universe, he'd say, was working particularly hard on this romance, making him choose between a sunburn, or Harry and Harry's hands all over his back. </p><p>Louis tried, he really did, stretching and contorting himself so his hands could spread the cold sunscreen on his back, till his arms felt like they were about to fall off and his muscles were on fire - which was a feat, considering Louis spent like ninety percent of his time with a piano below his fingers or holding up an eight pound guitar; suffice to say, it took a lot to get his arms aching to the point they were at now.</p><p>"D'ya-" Harry said finally, glancing up at Louis in amusement. He'd been watching him struggle for the past twenty or so minutes with no comment, smirking at the scene. "D'ya need some help with that?" he gestured vaguely at toward Louis and the sunblock he was holding, trying his best not to laugh at how sweaty Louis had gotten himself in his valiant attempts to do it by himself.</p><p>Louis looked contemplatively between Harry and the bottle in his hands. After a second of no response from the blue eyed boy Harry resumed his reading, only mildly disappointed that Louis had not agreed to his offer. It wasn't awkward, or anything, was it? They were <em>friends</em>, and he was trying to help Louis out; wouldn't want him getting a sunburn or anything. Purely platonic reasons. It wasn't a-</p><p>"Fine, okay." Louis uttered nonchalantly, breaking Harry's train of thought. He was trying ridiculously hard to not seem flustered, and it was working. Kind of.</p><p>Harry sat up then, an almost smug grin on his face as he patted the space in front of him. Louis hesitantly lowered himself down onto the front of the towel, gingerly passing Harry the bottle, odd clumps of cream still on his back from where he'd been unable to spread it around.</p><p>Harry gulped slightly, eyes raking over Louis' exposed posterior, assimilating the smooth expanse of skin, gleaming golden in the afternoon sun. Louis was pretty, and unbearably so, tufts of short brown hair barely reaching midway to his neck and the sharp contour surrounding his spine, arched ever so slightly as he bent forward, beads of sweat rolling past. </p><p>It wasn't Harry's fault he got distracted for a second, anyone with functioning eyes and a good sense of what was attractive would've. He tried to keep his emotions in check, vigorously shaking his head in attempts that the thoughts might tumble out of his head and disperse into the sand. He certainly wouldn't mind it. </p><p>"Get on with it will you?" Louis said quietly, a tad impatient. His voice came out raspier than intended, low and breathy, causing Harry to flush crimson, blood rushing to his cheeks. He didn't respond, almost in a trance of some sort, featherlight fingers trailing over Louis' back, touching reverently. </p><p>The sudden sound of the bottle opening startled Louis, Harry's hold rougher to keep him in place, before the cream touched his body, being spread lightly over Louis' skin. The faint rise of goosebumps traipsed slowly across his back, visible to no one but Harry, whose hands were running over them in senseless fascination, dipping and rubbing a little more than what could exactly be considered friendly. </p><p>Louis unwittingly relaxed, shoulders slumping as Harry reached the tendons of his lower back, travelling over his spine and then his hips, hovering absently above the waistband of his shorts. His brain was on overdrive, because this was Harry for fucks sake, and his hands seemed to be everywhere, and further thoughts on the matter were ones Louis blatantly ignored, for example, the blood rushing to his lower regions, or the recently opened apothecary in his stomach coming to life; he'd call it butterflies, albeit this was more potent, like wasps or bees nesting in him, perhaps both together. Either way, it wasn't a pleasant feeling as much as it sent alarm bells ringing in every corner of the library in his head, because there was a fucking fire burning all rational thoughts and it was all Harry's fault.</p><p>Harry's breath ghosted over the light dusting of hair on the nape of his neck, the sunblock sufficiently covering Louis' back, though the hands didn't stop, wandering around with reckless abandon, shivers following behind his fingers as they traveled over Louis. He shuddered, waiting in anticipation for something, <em>anything</em> to happen. </p><p>Not that it did, because that was precisely when Harry's phone started to ring - the sound heightened by the speakers - as he jumped away from Louis, a horrified expression on his face. Louis was almost offended, till he realised that Harry's horror was directed at whoever was calling him, and not Louis himself.</p><p>"Uh, I, uhm- I need to take this call," he stuttered out, louring down at his phone. It was too bright out to see the name on the display screen for either one of them, though Louis figured it might've been a customized ringtone considering the look of utter panic on Harry's face. He snatched the aux cord out of where it was plugged into his phone, giving Louis a pointed look.</p><p>"Could you maybe, like?" Harry made a shooing motion with his hands. Louis' face coloured at that, tinting a bright pink. He nodded robustly, moving back toward where his surfboard was laid out, eyes never leaving Harry's figure as he collected every bit of all the subtlety he possessed to stare at him discreetly. Not that he was really, but Harry was too occupied with his call to notice Louis and his Edward Cullen-esque tendencies. </p><p>The phone call didn't seem to go so well, Harry's displeasure plastered clearly on his face, his voice rising occasionally - though his words remained incoherent, even to Louis' sharp ears - before he would turn back to look at Louis in concern, checking to make sure he hadn't heard, and Louis would pretend to be immersed in the swirly pattern of his board as Harry did it; but then refocusing his gaze as soon as Harry looked elsewhere. The conversation lasted far too long for it to be casual, ending with a loud huff and Harry uncharacteristically throwing the device onto the sand, head in his hands.</p><p>Louis ambled back, shooting Harry a worried look. "You okay there, H?"</p><p>"Hm?" Harry muttered distractedly, before shaking his head, like he was attempting to get rid of whatever was thinking about. "Yeah, 'm fine."</p><p>"Who was that?"</p><p>"No one important." Harry said shortly, making himself comfortable on the sand. It was an obvious sign for Louis to go, though Louis was never one for following social cues, and currently, his curiosity was piqued to a too high level of interest to just leave it be.</p><p>"Didn't seem like it. Was it Simon or summat?" Louis guessed, paying attention to Harry's face as he waited for his answer. Harry was an exceptional liar, trust him, he would know, but his facial features had always been a dead giveaway, especially in the first few seconds after he was caught.</p><p>Harry's mouth contorted, only for a split second, and would've been missed by anyone who didn't know him as well, or wasn't so finely attuned to him in general. Unluckily for Harry, Louis knew him, and subsequently,  knew that he was lying.</p><p>"Uh, no, it was- t'was Kendall." he looked at Louis nervously, his face incredibly convincing, and had Louis been more gullible he would've fallen for everything Harry was trying to say with his body language, exuding the same kind of bashfulness that came with telling an old lover about a new one.</p><p>"Oh?" Louis prompted, "seemed like an intense conversation you had there." he commented, aloofly.</p><p>It was definitely Simon Harry was talking to.</p><p>Unlucky for Louis, Harry knew him just the same, and was familiar with this tactic of Louis', and could easily tell he suspected something. He had good reason to, Harry was being suspicious, but then again, it was none of his business. Not to mention, Louis would probably commit murder if he found out what they'd been discussing. </p><p>"S'nothin', jus' a lover's spat." he chuckled dryly, carefully rearranging his face. </p><p>He knew Louis knew, which made it easier to pretend, masking his lies with a barely congealed disguise, letting the suspicion brew to buy him some time to figure out a believable lie. He hated how easy it came. He'd been a shitty liar growing up, too expressive, too emotive to do it well, though it was fairly obvious he'd gotten adept over the years of being forced to learn the skill. </p><p>"What about?" </p><p>"Nothing that concerns you," Harry said smoothly, picking up his book from where he'd left it, and flicking it open. "If you don't mind, I'd like to get back to reading my book." his tone was dismissive as he returned to his book, though he wasn't paying attention, mind occupied elsewhere.</p><p>The conversation was over, though Harry still lingered on Simon's words, figuring he'd tell Niall and Liam later, too nervous to drop a text. It was the best move, considering Louis was always in close proximity and could easily oversee a text on the other's phone. Louis disappeared off into the sea then, leaving Harry and his thoughts alone, scoffing to himself disbelievingly at how easily Harry had lied to him.</p><p>Nearly two hours had passed when they returned from shore, only to find Harry fast asleep, snoring soft. His shirt was draped over his eyes to block the sunlight, the book on his chest bobbing lightly as his chest rose and sank. It barely covered the butterfly tattoo, fluttering gently due to the natural movement of Harry's lungs, and Louis watched, entranced, only looking away once Liam cleared his throat. </p><p>They laid out the various assortment of food Harry had prepared earlier in the morning, Niall shaking Harry awake roughly because <em>"it's lunch time, Haz!" </em>receiving a disgruntled groan and an almost slap to the face as Harry swatted his hands around, trying to get rid of the intruder trying to disrupt his nap. </p><p>It wasn't their first time embarking on a picnic such as this, which explained why none were surprised by the frankly absurd amount of food appearing from the woven basket; twelve egg sandwiches (Louis' without avocado because Harry remembered that he didn't like them), multiple juice boxes, four pies; each with a three inch radius and candy crusted edges, a large bowl of fruit custard, and then, an array of chips and granola bars, all of which were consumed in the span of five hours.</p><p>They weren't maniacs, only very hungry.</p><p>Harry joined them in the water after their lunch, floating about peacefully as the other three frolicked around. It was also worth mentioning he'd almost drowned himself a few times, or Louis was convinced he was trying to at least, submerging his head underwater and gliding with the drift of the waves, much like a dead fish. He'd come up later, gasping and spluttering as if he'd forgotten he couldn't actually breath underwater, mouthing a casual <em>"only thinking"</em> with a grin on his face, whenever Louis directed an anxious look at him, till he finally pushed off his surfboard and gave it over to the six foot man, instructing him to think on that instead, <em>"can't have ya drownin' or anythin'"</em>. Harry agreed, somewhat begrudgingly, whilst Louis tried not to think too much about the contents of the mysterious phone call Harry had, had, or why he was acting so weird.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>[ s c e n e   b r e a k ]</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>"What's going on, Haz?" Niall questioned, playing with Louis' hair as he laid on his lap, snoring softly, Liam on the floor in front of them. They were watching a movie, <em>The Princess Diaries</em> - it was very cool and manly, thank you very much - in the living room, settled comfortably on the sofa, with Louis sneaking in a nap before they had dinner.</p><p>The text Niall and Liam had received after they'd gotten back from the beach had been perfunctory, something along the lines of <em>'we need to talk'</em> sent on a group chat that did not involve Louis; unironically mirroring the kind of break up text you'd have your grade-school girlfriend send you. </p><p>Liam paused the movie in wait, having gotten the text as well, expectantly waiting for an explanation from Harry, who made a shushing motion at the two. They watched as Harry shot a glance at Louis, waving his hand over the man's face until he was confident that Louis was truly asleep, and couldn't possibly be faking, before opening his mouth. </p><p>"Simon called." he said grimly, inspecting his nails interestedly. Harry was unexpectedly jittery for just a call from Simon, the man called almost every other day, checking up on them as if they were toddlers and not full grown men.</p><p>Liam wrinkled his nose involuntarily at the mention of the man, looking up concernedly at Harry. "So? No offense H, but he calls, like, all the bloody time."</p><p>"Yeah but, this, was- 's different."</p><p>Liam looked at Niall confusedly, not understanding the gravitas behind Harry's words, or why he was so jittery. </p><p>"What'd he say?" Liam frowned, looking at Harry in bewilderment.</p><p>Harry wordlessly opened his phone, logging on to his gmail and scrolling through the plethora of unopened emails as he tried to find the one in question, before passing it to Liam to look at. Niall leaned over slightly to catch a glimpse of whatever Liam was reading, before his face morphed into shock, mouth hanging wide open.</p><p>"You can't be bloody serious." Niall whisper shouted, looking sharply at Harry. Liam sat there quietly, flabbergasted, as he stared at the floor. "When the fuck did you get this?" </p><p>"This morning." he took the phone back from Niall, shoving in back into his pockets.</p><p>"This morning? Why didn't you say anything then?" he asked agitatedly, face growing insistently redder, arms twitching.</p><p>"Didn't have the time did I?" Harry sniped. "Louis was there, did you want me to announce it then and there? - <em>'Oh hey Lou, remember Zayn? Your ex bestfriend and the person you hate? You do? Well he wants to join the band again, isn't that exciting?!'</em> - 's that what you wanted me t'say?" he snapped, miming a conversation. </p><p>Liam interrupted then, a bitter twinge to his voice. "How come he wants to come back? I thought he fucking <em>hated</em> it?" There was spite behind the words, one that Harry found himself relating to easily. Zayn wanting to make a return was, frankly, ridiculous, considering the fact that he'd made it abundantly clear that they had never been friends. Hell, he'd never really spoken to Harry, right? They were his words after all.</p><p>"Dunno, Simon didn't tell me much," Harry ran a hand through his hair. "Change of mind or summat, he's s'posed to be comin' in a week."</p><p>"You're joking." Niall said ludicrously. Harry shot him a unimpressed look.</p><p>"I'm not."</p><p>"But, he- <em>Zayn</em>, he's what? He fucking hates us mate, this has to be a joke." Harry shot him another look, effectively shutting the irish lad up.  </p><p>"But the contracts?" Liam asked, equally perplexed.</p><p>"Renewed his old one, I guess." Harry mumbled equivocally, looking unsure. "Simon didn't tell me shit, Li. Told that if we had any <em>'questions'</em> we could ask Zayn."</p><p>Simon barely gave him any details, the email briefly outlining how the process would ensue, and the strict instruction that Louis should, at no point find out beforehand. It wasn't exactly fair to the rest, but nothing under their management, <em>Modest! </em>ever was. It was all to remain a big secret, that is, until they flew Zayn in.</p><p>Simon hadn't told Harry until everything was practically a done deal, brushing off his concerns like they were all completely irrational, and telling him he'd be emailing the three with further details later. As for the rest, they didn't have the slightest inkling that their former bandmate was looking to what - rejoin? It was insane, and they hadn't heard from Zayn in months, years really. He'd made a clean cut from the world that the rest still lived in, everything that was One Direction, or remotely related to the band, and Harry could only assume they were blackmailing Zayn or something. That was the only plausible explanation, aside from Zayn actually wanting to return, the very idea so preposterous and out of character for Zayn, that he had to force himself to bite back a laugh. </p><p>"Lou's gonna be fucking furious." Niall grimaced, pointing out the obvious as looked down at the sleeping form of his friend.</p><p>"So we don't tell him." Harry griped. "Not until we absolutely have to."</p><p>The pool of guilt in his chest was growing, because, well, after everything went down in the past between Zayn and Louis, all of the boys had made it exceedingly clear where they stood on the matter, and it definitely wasn't with Zayn. They hadn't outright shunned him - still maintained a friendly exterior if other people were around - but their loyalties lay with Louis, and having Zayn back, and then keeping it secret from Louis went beyond the realm of conflict and side stepped its way onto the path where it felt like betraying him. </p><p>They were silent for a minute, the only sound in the air coming from Louis, as the other two absorbed the sudden blitz of information. </p><p>"Haz, are you sure this is a good idea?" Liam questioned finally, his voice faint.</p><p>"Not really up to me, is-" Harry stopped abruptly, his eyes narrowing at Louis' sleeping figure, that was decidedly not snoring anymore. "-it? If Simon wants to come visit in person to listen to whatever we have of the album, I can't actually stop him?" he paused, looking pointedly at Niall and Liam, who looked thoroughly confused. "I'll tell Louis about it later, he'll be less grumpy about if we don't wake him up mid nap. I didn't wanna tell him at the beach before an', like, ruin his mood, or somethin', y'know?" </p><p>Harry hoped Louis hadn't quite pieced together what they were talking about, silently conveying to Liam and Niall to drop the topic, gesturing to Louis. Their eyes widened as it dawned on them, nodding quickly before Liam resuming the movie, the volume turned up much louder than it had been before, as all of them pretended to focus on the film. </p><p>When Louis got up with an exaggerated yawn a couple seconds later, popping a <em>"g'morning"</em> and <em>"did anythin' interestin' happen while I was out?" </em>question, his wariness concealed well within the baby blues, Harry quickly proceeded to tell him of <em>Simon's</em> incoming visit - an easy lie, and believable to the extent that if Niall and Liam hadn't heard the truth seconds prior, they'd question their own knowledge on the matter. </p><p>Louis nodded contently, seemingly convinced since he didn't interrogate any further, only making brief and, disputably, unnecessary comments about Simon, none of which anyone disagreed with.</p><p>If Louis wanted to call him an <em>"incorrigible bastard"</em>, well, he wasn't exactly too off base there was he?</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━♔━━━━━━━</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'm fully aware that the beach scene is a real fucking cliche, but i had fun writing it, sue me</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i want to stop writing this bc (likeholyfuck its so bad) and i'm just very- where's the plot??? i dont-<br/>but then again i basically announced how i was gonna go through with this even if it killed me (now im stuck)</p><p>ive also realized why people actually plan out their plot points and don’t wing it, i would seriously recommend not winging your plot</p><p>anyways, happy new year<br/>the tpwk mv was nice, let's all actively choose to be kind this year</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>part one</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>'a necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none'</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━</strong>
  <strong>♔</strong>
  <strong>━━━━━━━</strong>
</p><p>"Okay, spill. I know you're hiding something, so, what is it?" Louis demanded, striding across the music room to shut the door, a feat that would've been more dramatic had he not tripped over a stray tambourine on his way there. He turned back to face Niall and Liam, both of whom bore a striking resemblance to what he assumed actual deer in headlights looked like, in that particular moment. </p><p>He tapped his foot impatiently; eyebrows raised as if to say <em>'go on'</em>. </p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about." Liam's tone was infuriatingly dismissive, eyes trained downward at the ivory keys in attempt to ignore Louis’ harsh stare, only making him that much more determined to find out. Niall coughed lightly, diligently continuing to sort out their sheet music, seemingly unbothered. Louis knew better.</p><p>"Really?" Louis asked sarcastically, walking away from the door and toward Liam. "Explain this then." Now, being on an island didn't quite mean that they didn't get phone bills, and in a desperate bid to be discreet, the other three had taken to communicating with both Zayn and Simon through sneakily placed after hours landline calls, the proof of which currently resided in Louis' hands. The numbers were labeled, Anne, Niall's brother, Simon, all except for one, the bold strips of neon highlighter running at regular intervals through the page. </p><p>"Who's this? Don't play dumb," Louis warned, staring Liam down. "You've been calling Simon, nearly," he shoved the paper closer, "nearly every day! And then this, this number- at four am – right after you call Simon, and the calls are hours long! What're you hiding?" Louis spared a back at glance at the door praying that Harry would not return for at least another five minutes. He’d disappeared a minute ago, to fetch a quill or notebook or something equally as unimportant, and Louis knew for a fact that without him, well, neither of the other two would last very long with their excuses. </p><p>"We're not hidin' anythin'," Niall squeaked, accent lilting strongly, even more so than usual. </p><p><em>'You're lying'</em> was what Louis wanted to say, because it was so bloody obvious that they were. He could read them incredibly well, and not one ounce of their body language screamed honesty, both throwing each other helpless glances, because they, frankly, had no idea on how they were meant to deny this.</p><p>He sighed, a purposeful sound, a stark contrast to the thoughts in his head; that were presently hatching the best ways to exploit their sympathy toward him. "I, I jus', feels like I'm out of the loop, y'know?" his tone was dejected, as he slipped his over the soft skin of his hands. "And like, I jus', it doesn't feel like I'm part o'the band, an-" </p><p>"No! No, no 'course you're part of the band mate." Niall interrupted, feeling incredibly guilty that they'd made Louis feel that way. "'S jus' tha-"</p><p>"Niall!" Liam said furiously, shaking his head. "Stop talkin'!" He knew Louis, and his tactics a lot better than their irish friend, frowning at Louis disappointedly for taking advantage of Niall's naivety.</p><p>The doorknob rattled then, a second before Harry started banging on the door. "Guys? What's going on in there?" the knocks got louder the longer Louis took to open the door, groaning reluctantly. He wasn't getting any answers from anyone today, as it would seem.   </p><p>Harry burst through the now unlocked door, wide eyed and confused, roving over Niall's guilty look and Liam's indignant one, and then finally the defeat on Louis’ face, before relaxing his shoulders. No secrets had been spilled, he deduced, making a mental note to not leave Louis alone in the room with the other two, as it seemed they couldn't maintain a simple ruse for less than five minutes.</p><p>"Why'd you lock the door?" he questioned, giving Louis a curious stare. </p><p>Louis rolled his eyes. Harry very well knew what Louis had been trying to do, he didn't have to pretend. "I think you already know, don't cha?" he shrugged, walking over to the only armchair in the room - and also Harry's unspoken designated spot - drawing lazy patterns in the red velvet with the tips of his fingers. Harry gaped at him; that was his chair, Louis was sitting in <em>his</em> chair.</p><p>"I was sittin' there." Harry pointed out, looking at Louis expectantly, as he came to stand beside the handle. He sounded upset, or annoyed - somewhere in between both emotions - plump lips pulled up into a pout, and Louis might've caved had he not been as stubborn as he was. Or as irritated.</p><p>"'I was sittin' there'," he mimicked, slowing his cadence to a meandering drawl. "That's too bad, innit? 'M sittin' here now." he patted Harry's arm apologetically, though there was no traces of genuine apology visible on his face.</p><p>"C'mon, Louis, 's my chair." he defended, looking agitated at not being allowed to sit where he wanted to. Though the rest of the room was littered with bean bags and a plush carpet lay under the glass coffee table, which provided enough space for Harry to sit, long legs and all, Harry had outright refused to do so - something about having a bad back.</p><p>"Does it have your name on it?" Louis smirked, pretending to look for a name scrawled into dark fabric. "Hm, doesn't look like it, sorry mate."</p><p>He met Harry's pleading gaze, the intensity of the green and gold in Harry's eyes shocking him for a second. It was fairly clear what Louis was getting at however, <em>'tell me the truth, and I'll get off your damn chair'</em>. </p><p>Harry had lied to his mum for the first sixteen years of his existence - the fact that she would see right through him wasn't relevant - and then, the whole world and the love of his measly life for like, the next ten, so getting anything out of him that he didn't want known was practically impossible. And he really wasn't telling Louis about this, he valued his wellbeing too much for it. </p><p>He dejectedly sulked over to where Niall was sitting cross legged, a stream of incoherent grumbles rippling out under his breath. The chair was Harry's favourite place to write - mostly because it was the only place in which he could curl up into himself and still be comfortable, and it wasn't exactly fair that Louis, the smallest of the bunch mind you, got to hog the largest sitting space. </p><p>Louis frowned at the fact that Harry hadn't risen to the bait, before replacing the expression with a smug grin, casually stretching himself out over the lap of the chair, his knees and everything below that dangling over the side.</p><p>Harry looked on disgruntledly at the scene; Louis draped around <em>his</em> precious armchair, one that he had Simon fly over from Los Angeles <em>specifically</em> for him - and Louis had to physically bite back a laugh at Harry's face, all scrunched up - like he'd just had candy stolen from him (the fact that he was furious at the other three completely forgotten in favour of riling Harry up). Niall and Liam stifled their own amusement, not wanting to further upset Harry, who looked like he was about to burst into tears. </p><p>"I hate you." Harry said finally, looking at Louis irritatedly. "I really hate you."</p><p>Louis winked obnoxiously, an ever growing smirk on his face. "Hate you too, loser." Harry balled up a piece of paper, hitting Louis in the head with it, before going back to his writing, the space between his brows furrowed.</p><p>They worked harmoniously after that, if you ignored the multitude of times Harry unplugged Louis' mini keyboard and messed up the melodies on purpose to piss him off. You would also have to overlook that Louis made a very large show of flicking a booger onto Harry's chair and Harry's dismayed cry, and that Louis finished Harry's entire bowl of ice cream in less than two minutes - even musicians need to eat, it's part of the process - when he went to search for spoons, and then wiped the remnants of strawberry chunks on him on one of Harry's bandanas that had been tucked in neatly in the folds of the chair.</p><p>All in a day’s work really.</p><p>
  <strong>[ s c e n e   b r e a k ]</strong>
</p><p>Harry deftly (discreetly) pulled out his phone whilst Louis was still distracted with the cooking - toasting buns was a rather important part of making a burger, and if all his attention was focused on not burning the soft bread like he'd done the previous two times, Harry was perfectly content. With one eye on Louis, and the other on his cell, he quickly opened his texts, hoping for some update from Liam or Niall in regards to their positions on getting a certain ex-bander back to the villa.</p><p></p><div>
  <hr/>
</div><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">To: don't fucking tell louis</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Me:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>where r u??? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>is Zayn with you? </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Liam Payne:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>got stuck in baggage claims</em>
</p><p>
  <em>we're near the beach rn</em>
</p><p>
  <em>yeah Z’s with us</em>
</p><p></p><div>
  <hr/>
</div><p> </p><p>Harry deflated, sneaking a glance at Louis, before typing out a response.</p><p> </p><p></p><div>
  <hr/>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>
      <span class="u">To: don't fucking tell louis</span>
    </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Me:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>hurry the fuck up</em>
</p><p>
  <em>you were supposed to be back an HOUR ago</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Liam Payne:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>calm ur tits</em>
</p><p>
  <em>be there in five</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Me:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>👍👍👍👍👍</em>
</p><p>
  <em>seen 17:09</em>
</p><p></p><div>
  <hr/>
</div><p>"Hey Haz, 's this done?" Louis suspiciously eyed Harry's currently kind of charred looking patties, poking them with his finger and then recoiling back with a shout. Harry was by Louis' side in the flash of an eye, looking at him and then the finger he was suckling on worriedly.</p><p>"Fuck are you okay?" Harry retrieved some ice from the freezer, pulling Louis' finger out and gently rubbing the ice over the slightly red skin, the burn nowhere as bad as Louis' cry indicated. "You're so stupid, Christ. Go sit down." Harry waved him away, Louis complying happily, swinging his legs up onto the kitchen island. By <em>'go away'</em> Harry had meant the living room couch, but this was okay too.</p><p>Louis was more than grateful, despite the fact that he'd nagged and nagged and <em>nagged</em> Harry to let him help out - not because he was nice, but because Harry made an offhand comment about Louis being a complete disaster in the kitchen, which he was, but he wasn't about to let Harry get away with it. Harry had been right about Louis' culinary skills of course, but Louis would've eaten his own toes before admitting to such a thing.</p><p>"Where's Ni? And Payno?" Louis asked, cocking his head to the side. "Buyin' drinks shouldn't be takin' so long." he pointed out astutely. They weren't buying drinks, obviously, but Louis wasn't aware of that.</p><p>"Flat tire," Harry explained - lied, "said it would take them a while." he shrugged, before slipping on an oven mitt so he could check on his pie.</p><p>Louis jumped off the counter as the smell of cinnamon and apples filled the air, trotting toward Harry, all the while letting out a repetitive cheer of <em>'pie! pie! pie!'</em> under his breath. It was adorable.</p><p>Apple pie, had become a steady tradition between the four right after Zayn called quits. Louis vividly remembered that first show without him. They'd been exhausted, having rehearsed the entire day to reassign solos and falling into yet another argument with their management about something or the other, resentment at their ex-bandmate bubbling up in the worst of ways. </p><p>There'd been a massive row between him and Liam, not that he could remember much about it now, the memory bleary around the edges, as unpleasant memories tended to get. In the heat of the argument, no one had noticed Harry had gone missing, only realising when he sauntered back into their dressing room, flour dusting his jeans, a pie in one hand and whipped cream in the other. He practically forced Liam and Louis onto a couch, settling with Niall opposite them, demanding that they get it <em>"sorted before the pie is over, it's already shit without the pair of you makin' it worse!"</em>. The idea was absurd at first, but sure enough, the argument was settled over the dodgy apple pie Harry had procured from god knows where.</p><p>It became routine after that. Whether it was a long day or an unreasonable argument, apple pie was always a guaranteed fix, bringing a certain sort of comfort with it; the knowledge that no matter what happened, they'd be alright. It was sappy, but that wasn't the point here.</p><p>They weren't best friends, not really. But they did <em>know</em> each other, beyond the gray areas of small talk and pleasantries, and somehow that accounted for a lot more than knowing someone's favourite colours. They were brothers in that sense; they squabbled and fought; Louis put food dye in Liam's juice when he got irritated, Niall would steal Harry's nail paint to decorate his iphone cover, they hid the foods they wanted to eat, and Harry's fancy blouses coloured all their white t-shirts pink, and they wouldn't've had it any other way. </p><p>"Lou?" Harry waved his fingers in front of Louis, who seemed to have fallen into some sort of trance, as he observed Harry's pie. "Hello, earth to Louis?" </p><p>"Hm?" Louis grabbed a stray fork lying on the marble countertop, reaching out to break a piece of the lightly browned crust, only to have his hand slapped away by Harry.</p><p>"Not yet! It still needs to cook!" Harry scolded, sticking the pie back in and shutting the oven door. He was fairly certain he knew what Louis was thinking of, apple pie brought up the same memories for all four of them, and figured that having a pie handy would be necessary, there was not one outcome he'd envisioned in which Louis and Zayn greeted each other with open arms.</p><p>The unmistakable click of the doorknob turning wiped the smiles off of both their faces - albeit, for different reasons. Louis quickly wiped his hands on a rag lying on one of the counters whilst removing his - well Harry's, if he was being technical - <em>Kiss the Cook!</em> apron and smoothing over his button down. The jeans and shirt combo was more formal than anything he'd donned in the past three months, but he couldn't very well greet Simon in sweats and a ratty t-shirt, could he? </p><p>Harry froze for a split second, his grin dropping off his face before it returned in full force as he regained his composure. The hubbub of chatter accompanied by the noisy rattle of suitcase wheels rolling over the floor echoed through the lobby, Niall and Liam's distinctive voices rising above, and then another one Louis didn't quite recognize before it quieted down completely. He raised his brows confusedly, peeking out the lobby as he tried to place who was there, only seeing faint silhouettes due to the darkness outside, as he waited for Simon to walk in.</p><p>Except, that wasn't exactly who had.</p><p>The man that walked <em>definitely</em> wasn't Simon. </p><p>Louis paused, eyes widening in a way that would've been comical had the situation not been so tense, taking in the raven haired figure moseying into the room, Niall and Liam flanking him on either side.</p><p>Physically, Zayn carried himself the same, strutting into the room like the world belonged to him, hiding his trembling hands by shoving them squarely into the pockets of his pants, a short sleeved t-shirt exposing the myriad of tattoos that littered his skin – Louis' eyes instinctively flicking to where their matching <em>BUS 1 </em>tattoo should've been, only to be met by a dark tan and fading ink. </p><p>He was different, nevertheless, changes that Louis couldn't quite place but he recognized they were there just the same. The once sharp contours had softened, retaining a chub that wasn't there nearing the end, the caramel of his eyes twinkling gold under the warm yellow lighting. He looked... healthy, Louis realized with a pang; long gone were the days of dark circles and a body that was too weak to carry, replaced by the kind of glow that came from being, well, happy. </p><p>Zayn extended an arm outward, and though Louis could no longer see the sharp juts of bone, it didn't propel him to take it, and he didn't notice the way it shook either, too caught up in his own assessments of his ex-best friend to do so.</p><p>Zayn seemed nervous, fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt with his left hand, unusually small in his timidity - which was peculiar considering he was at least a head, maybe two, taller than Louis. The shaky hand retracted after a minute of no acknowledgement, Zayn shifting uneasily where he stood. </p><p>No one spoke, not even chatterbox, happy-go-lucky Niall, who couldn't stand awkward silences for as long as Louis had known him. He hadn't realized it, but his face was ridden with contempt, fists clenching and unclenching unconsciously. Where Zayn was softer, Louis had cemented, and Zayn could see the defenses going back up, whether it was the stiffness of his posture, or the way his arms had crossed protectively over his chest, like he expected physical blows.  </p><p>Louis' thoughts, were a stark contrast to Zayn's, chaotic and flurrying in, one after the other, his feet moving backward of their own accord the longer Zayn stood there, the hatred and anger he'd bottled spreading to his fingers and toes till he was, quite literally, consumed by it. He wasn't used to being surprised, having charaded for long enough that he could tell when others were too, and though he had multiple ideas of what the rest may have been concealing for the past week, this really wasn't it.</p><p>"Erm," Zayn cleared his throat, voice hoarse. "Hello." he smiled, lifting his hand up to wave a silly wave at Louis, foolishly hoping that he might laugh. He didn't. His eyes, normally vibrant cobalt, had darkened till they were a murky gray, and had Zayn not been so riddled with anxiety, he might've taken some time to admire how unequivocally expressive Louis' gaze was despite the stoicity of his features.</p><p>In this moment though all he could think was, <em>'dear god, he hates me'</em>. And the worst part by far, might've been that he wasn't entirely wrong.</p><p>This was uncharted territory for the rest. With Louis, anger had always been explosive, obliterating and destroying with no regard; it was pure unadulterated rage, everything else around him ended up as collateral damage, and nothing more. A tantrum was expected. A tantrum, was normal, was something they knew how to deal with.</p><p>This, however - Louis' unflinching equanimity, was new, and immensely terrifying. A calm Louis was deadly, and more often than not struck more viciously than intended, planning and directing his attacks to where they hurt most, and judging by the worried looks on the other's faces, they were aware of it too. </p><p>"Did you-" he studied Harry intently, and it was clear he already knew the answer to the question he was about to ask. "Did you know about this?" his voice was flat, eyes narrowed till they resembled slits. He was hoping for some kind of confirmation - proof that they hadn't done what they did knowing how much it would hurt Louis. Harry took a few tentative steps forward, gently reaching for Louis' shoulder, only to have him recoil back sharply, as if the touch stung.</p><p>"Harry. Did you know?" Louis repeated tersely.</p><p>Harry frowned, "I- uh, I did, yeah." he mumbled, looking with keen interest at the floor.</p><p>"So you all knew?" Everyone nodded slowly, still on edge.</p><p>Louis grimaced, the flash of betrayal in his gaze disappearing as quickly as it came. The beginnings of a sentence formed on his lips, though Niall beat him to the chase, interrupting quickly. Zayn had never been this grateful for Niall, letting out a breath he hadn't known he was holding till Louis' attention drifted elsewhere.</p><p>"Lou, we were gonna tell you but-" his words tumbled out, like his mouth couldn't form his thoughts as quickly as they occurred to him. "We were goin' to tell you, but Simon- he, uh, he wouldn't le' us, and we thought that maybe-"</p><p>Louis raised a hand, palm facing Niall. <em>'Shut up'</em>, it said. Shut up, Niall didn't.</p><p>Niall continued boldly, with no regard for Louis. Zayn was both awed and terrified; having known the levels of control Louis could harbor versus being subject to it were two entirely different things, and had he been a lesser man he would leave, tail between his legs as it may be. </p><p>"That maybe," Niall pressed on with a newly acquired fortitude, "it would be easier for you, and you could-" he motioned between Zayn and Louis, "could sort it out between you guys. You used to be best friends, I don't understand-"</p><p>"Fuck off Niall." Louis snapped, any will to listen to Niall having evaporated when he implied whatever was going on between him and Zayn was <em>petty</em>. "That's the thing, you don't <em>'understand'</em>. So, do me a favour and shut the fuck up, okay?"</p><p>"And you-" Louis said furiously, turning to Zayn, "you need to leave."</p><p>Zayn blanched. He'd expected many things from his and Louis' untimely reunion, and being kicked out of the house wasn't one of them. "W-what?" He stared at Louis, the bluntness of Louis' statement rendering him too shocked to come up with a coherent response beyond one syllable stutters.</p><p>Louis stalked forward, swinging the duffel bag up from where Zayn had dropped it carelessly onto the floor. "I said," he shoved the bags at his torso, "that you need to fucking leave. Get out, get-"</p><p>"Louis!" Liam snapped, processing what Louis had just said. "Apologize!"</p><p>Louis gave Liam a look, somewhere between disbelief and amazement, jutting out his chin defiantly. "I won't!" </p><p>Zayn stood rock still, unmoving as he looked at Louis contritely. It was there, splashed across his features, bluntly apologetic, like he truly meant it. Somehow, Louis convinced himself that none of it was real. Zayn only apologized to do the same things all over, and Louis was damned if he fell for it again. </p><p>"Louis, apologize." Liam's tone was stern, his hand moving to sit comfortingly on Zayn's shoulder, and the way Louis flinched at the action wasn't missed by anyone. At the same time, however, Harry's hand moved to rest on Louis' lower back - pressingly intently to let Louis know, <em>'hey I'm still here'</em> - whilst Niall had switched sides, his arms brushing Louis' own. It was a clear divide, two versus three, Louis versus Zayn. </p><p>"What's he doin' here, Li?" he asked, quieter now, rage melting into something more mellow as he stared at Liam. "Why- why didn't you tell me?" he snuck a glance at Zayn, who looked wounded, like he'd expected some sort of welcome party just because he'd chosen to come back - gracing them with his presence, or whatever bullshit Louis was sure must be going round in his big head. Nothing of the sort was, but Louis was too outraged to entertain that possibility.</p><p>"I- uh-" Zayn interjected, nervously peeking back at Liam for reassurance - and the fact that he found it in him struck Louis like an iron hot rod - before turning back. "I'm gonna- uh," he stuttered, "Louis, 'm rejoining, uh- 'm r-rejoining the band."</p><p>"You're what?" he snapped, having deduced that this was what the entire situation was about, but still left speechless by the confession.</p><p>"I-" Zayn began, taking a small step toward Louis, like he was a landmine - the fear that the wrong move might set him off.</p><p>"No you're not." Louis cut off sharply.</p><p>"Louis, don't-" Liam warned again, his tone frustrated.</p><p>"He left willingly Liam, and he isn't bloody welcome back. If you wanna be with him so bad, why don't you leave too? The pair of you together yeah? Zayn chooses the people you wanna fuck over, and then you can stab 'em in the back. He's had plenty experience doin' both, haven't you Z?"</p><p>Liam winced. He didn't mean to be so cruel, Louis, he wasn't like that by nature. It was an accumulation; refusing to tell him and then springing it up on him, and Liam, fuck, they all kind of knew why Louis couldn't stand Zayn - their friendship sure as fuck hadn't splintered over a pathetic twitter war as many liked to believe. </p><p>"Louis," Harry spoke up, his voice soft. He didn't admonish Louis, only looking at him sympathetically. "Give Zayn a chance to explain?" There was a quiet plea in his eyes, one that Louis was tempted to stomp all over amidst his temper - because he was furious and he fucking despised Zayn, and Harry too, and everyone else.</p><p>"Why the fuck-" Louis started, stopping as green met blue imploringly, unwittingly finding himself calming down to an extent. Zayn continued before Louis could begin to protest, gulping softly. </p><p>"Louis, I uh- i wanted to- jus' w-wanted to apolo- apologize to you- before, before we start this- like, I-'" he paused, shifting uncomfortably under Louis' blank stare. This wasn't going how he'd pictured it in the least, and his hands itched to retrieve the small speech he'd whipped up on the plane from his backpack so he wouldn't feel so thoroughly unprepared. "Jus' wanted to say 'm sorry, for, for like everythin'- 'm sorry okay?"</p><p>"You're sorry?" Louis laughed sardonically. He stepped closer, poking a finger into the man's chest. "You- you're sorry?" the sound was slightly manic, resonating around the room. "Fuck off, you don't get to-" he inhaled, the oxygen feeling like sandpaper in his lungs. "I don't- I don't want your fucking apology, alright? What are you even fuckin' apologizin' for Zayn? D'you know, or s'it jus' 'cause they told you to?"</p><p>Unspoken words hung heavy between them, pressing down on their shoulders - even Atlas didn't bore a burden so substantial; holding up the sky might've been preferable to balancing Louis' rage.</p><p>Here's the thing: Louis had never stopped showing up for Zayn. He hadn't, even when he didn't like him all that much for leaving, he'd still picked up Zayn's sporadic fuck all timed calls when he was sobbing and high because he didn't know what to do, didn't know who he was without the rest of them. He sat through the insults during interviews, took Zayn's pathetic excuses for saying them as the truth. He'd been there through thick and thin really, no matter how unwilling he was or however many times Zayn hurt him, privately or publicly; unfailingly loyal, to a fault almost. </p><p>Eventually, he stopped caring though. It might've been when Zayn stopped showing up in return, when he ditched his birthday party, when he failed to show when Louis needed him most, when he sent a <em>'I'm sorry for your loss'</em> text when Fizzy died instead of being there.</p><p>"I- Lou-"</p><p>"You don't get to call me that!" Louis snapped, eyes shiny, blinking rapidly in a futile attempt to delay the waterworks threatening to start. "Only- only my friends- they-" his sentences were interrupted by syrupy hiccups; there was only so much anger he had to give before he ran out, before everything below it took over. He couldn't let them see him like this. </p><p>So, Louis ran.</p><p>Everything after that passed in an almost dazed state for the rest; watching Louis storm out of the room, hearing the flower pot near the door being kicked over, the echoes of a slammed door reverberating in the lobby long after Louis left the house; eating under seasoned burgers silently at the table that were charred horribly on one side; watching as Niall dropped an entire tray of milkshakes and then helping clean up the splintered glass; the smell of burnt sugar in the air as the fire alarm going off because Harry had forgotten about the pie in the oven.</p><p>
  <strong>━━━━━━━</strong>
  <strong>♔</strong>
  <strong>━━━━━━━</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>kudos? comment? please tell me this isn't spiralling downward as badly as i think it is</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>